Do years have legacies? Or are they forgotten in time once they calendar flips? Years are not like people, they are not conscious entities that make choices, they are merely man-designated, semi-arbitrary groupings of days that allow us to orient ourselves in the world. To be honest, the events of years passed do tend to blend together, and it often seems like years only have legacies if we decide to give it to them. However, I think that 2017 will leave a legacy to this world, and unfortunately I believe that it will be one of tumult in the world. 2017 featured one of the worst fires in California history, some of the most fearsome hurricanes that absolutely devastated parts of the country, terrible mass shootings that just seemed to come one after another in a string of death, was a year of intense political and cultural divisiveness, and even featured a debacle at the Oscars about which movie won best picture (thankfully, it was Moonlight that ended up winning). These chaotic events were not limited to where I lived, but echoed across the country and even, I suspect, through the world. 2017 will be remembered for these things and they will undoubtedly define the legacy that it leaves.
However, if the public sphere in 2017 was marked by chaos and tumult, my personal life was marked by a welcomed level of stability. 2017 was the first year that I didn't have to move residences (except for in the past two weeks, but more on that later), and while the roster of the place where I did live shuffled around a bit, being able to come home to the same place everyday for the first time since high school provided a level of comfort and stability that I have not had in some time.
At work, although I started off the year in a bit of tumult, working in digital marketing in what many would consider a great job with a decent pay. And while the job itself was good, the department was toxic and I made it a goal of mine to get a new job by the time March rolled around. In browsing for a new job, I found a new position at my company to work in the IT department as a Salesforce Administrator. I applied, and after some delays, moved to the new department in July with a 20% pay increase. My now boss taking a chance on me has motivated me to want to be the best I can be, and in the first several months in the position I could not be happier - the actual job is enjoyable, my boss trusts and supports me, and overall I have more energy at work and outside of it. I am incredibly grateful whenever anybody takes a chance on me, and this is no exception. The second half of 2017 has been the best period professionally of my life.
I got to attend my personal record of five weddings this year, a mix of college friends and current roommates. The trend in my life of 3-5 weddings a year has been one of the bright spots in my life, and I already have received a save-the-date for March of 2018. These five brings my adult total to twenty-one weddings since college.
Socially, in 2017 I continued to try to successfully traverse what post-college, young adult life looks like. I'm realizing more and more how difficult it is to make quality friends after college, to really get into the meat of people's lives and to be there as a resource for them. I have learned ways to do this, and learned that it requires really narrowing focus. Although I am there for everyone, really trying to invest in fewer people with quality time is important.
Creatively I challenged myself in two new ways in 2017, getting more into writing poetry in 2017, and trying my hand at writing some short screen plays. I actually even got to see the start of one screen play that I wrote with a friend, Justin, come to life as we cast it, directed it, and shot it. This was one of the things that required the most work of anything that I have ever done, including long nights, skipped meals, and cold shot set-ups. Overall, we did not get to finish The Instructor, as Justin moved and our lead actress quit, but it was an activity that taught me a lot and that I really sparked my interest in film making.
Additionally, I tried to host some events, utilizing the large house that I lived in. I hosted a potluck in July, which I cleverly titled 'A midsummer night's potluck'. We also BBQd several times over the course of the summer, which really helped to give those months a real 'summer feel'. More recently, I hosted a live amateur stand-up comedy night at my house, leading off with a set of my own. The prevailing notion is that the night went exceptionally well, and most were asking me when the next one would be.
Although 2017 was personally a year of relative stability, it ended with one of the most chaotic months in recent memory. December seemed to be just a conglomeration of several different factors: the Thomas Fire, which created a terrible air quality and put lots of people on displaced, burning hundreds of thousands of acres and causing intermittent blackouts. I am also moving with a few of my roommates (4 of us total), after several others moved out and we found ourselves in need of a place less expensive. These two combined have caused a general sense of chaos as stuff is spread between two different houses, neither of which really feels liveable at the moment. Many other people left for the holidays, with some coming back, and it almost felt like there was a rotating cast. Add to that that I found no fewer than four different friends are going through really serious breakups. Most of these things will be at least semi-cleared up by mid-January, and it has helped remind me of life's occasional propensity for chaos.
There were some other highlights from the year: I got to try two escape rooms, go to universal studios horror nights with my sister, visited San Diego for the first time, and got to take a nice long weekend trip to San Francisco in May. I had a nephew born (perhaps this should have gotten its own section, as in terms of importance it is paramount), which is exciting.
Overall, I got to think a fair amount about my life this year, understand more about who I am and what God is doing with me. It is never easy trying to traverse personal desires, being a quality man of character, leading others to know God the way that I do and even beyond that, and still dream. And that is what I am ending this year thinking about - dreaming. It is so important to dream and aspire, to set my sights incredibly high, as even if I never get there, it encourages me to continue to pursue more and deeper, and keeps the humdrum of life from overwhelming me.
I have a few goals for 2018 - I'd like to get back to processing through things, as life seems to fly at me too fast these days (part of the reason that I sat down to write this), I plan to finish my second novel (and probably still not get either published), and there are a few people in my periphery that I intend to invest in, all the while trying hard to keep in contact with those that God has placed in my life. I'm excited for this new year.
Monday, December 25, 2017
Saturday, November 12, 2016
Nobody Asked Me, But...
Everybody seems to have an opinion this election season, and seeing as how I sometimes process things through writing, I figured that it would be a good idea to write down what mine are. Nobody asked, and if you do not care, that it totally fine. I am writing this to understand if I have a healthy attitude about things. That being said, if you disagree, I would be fine with having a civilized, informed discussion about it where we start with love and move from there.
That out of the way, I did not vote. To be honest, I merely forgot. However, had I remembered, I cannot say which presidential candidate I would have voted for. I do not know either of their politics particularly well, partially as a consequence of an election season filled with rhetoric and mudslinging. I cannot on the one hand justify voting for a racist bully who treats people, especially women, as objects to be used. That being said, I am very tired of the system, and I have hang-ups about voting for someone who just represents more of the same. That's where I stood. Morally, I couldn't justify voting for either.
However, I have more thoughts about the post-election reactions. Our democracy works a specific way, and that is the way that was set up years and years ago, a way that nobody seems to have a problem with until their candidate loses. Protesting is not a healthy way to deal with your anger at your candidate losing and the other candidate winning (tell me when protests don't turn violent and actually peacefully accomplish their goal. Shot of the late Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., whose protests really did turn violent just with the violence directed towards him, you will be hard-pressed to find that). Instead, go out and make the world a better place. Go adopt a child in need, volunteer at an animal or homeless shelter, tutor underprivileged children. That is what is going to help fix America, not this...creative whining.
I do not want you to think that I am insensitive. I understand the fear that minorities, women, LGBTQ, and others hold at their autonomy and freedoms being attacked. I do. But nothing has happened yet. Nobody has rounded anybody up. No dictator was elected; last I checked we still have checks and balances and separation of powers for these very reasons. One man does not make all of the decisions. If and when anything resembling unspeakable evils do happen, I will be the first to welcome people into my home, offer my resources and time to try to prevent the atrocities. But Donald Trump was elected; he earned the presidency.
As well, this vehement hatred towards Trump supporters has got to stop! Comparing them to Nazis is not ok; physical violence of any kind toward them is not ok; and grossly overstating that all trump supporters are stupid, racist, hate women, etc. is not ok! Not associating with people who have different thoughts is never going to allow your thinking and opinions to be refined. No change will happen. When George Washington was elected president, his top two advisers were from opposing political parties. He welcomed the chance to hear differing opinions. Get to know people at a personal level if you want to make judgments about them. Try and understand their perspective and where they're coming from rather than just making a blanket statement about an entire group of people, 99% of whom you have never met. Again, process your anger by making the world around you better; channeling it into hate helps nobody. I say this not as someone who supported or voted for Donald Trump, but as somebody who firmly believes that it is right to love those different than you and accept the company of those with differing view points, as well as offering them hospitality.
Some of you will write this off, and I don't mind (even though you are proving me correct.). I am not, after all, interested in being right, I am interested in being righteous. There are many problems with politics in the US, and I do believe that the two-party system separates far more than it unifies. It allows people to ignorantly vote merely along party lines regardless of whether their candidate stands for something right or good or not, and takes away the impetus for critical thinking. But it isn't through protests and exclusion of those who think differently than us that this gets accomplish. It is by open discourse and loving those that have less, actively being a part of setting right the evils that we see in the world, that this gets accomplished. If you are too weak or lazy to put that into practice, than you have only yourself to blame.
That out of the way, I did not vote. To be honest, I merely forgot. However, had I remembered, I cannot say which presidential candidate I would have voted for. I do not know either of their politics particularly well, partially as a consequence of an election season filled with rhetoric and mudslinging. I cannot on the one hand justify voting for a racist bully who treats people, especially women, as objects to be used. That being said, I am very tired of the system, and I have hang-ups about voting for someone who just represents more of the same. That's where I stood. Morally, I couldn't justify voting for either.
However, I have more thoughts about the post-election reactions. Our democracy works a specific way, and that is the way that was set up years and years ago, a way that nobody seems to have a problem with until their candidate loses. Protesting is not a healthy way to deal with your anger at your candidate losing and the other candidate winning (tell me when protests don't turn violent and actually peacefully accomplish their goal. Shot of the late Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., whose protests really did turn violent just with the violence directed towards him, you will be hard-pressed to find that). Instead, go out and make the world a better place. Go adopt a child in need, volunteer at an animal or homeless shelter, tutor underprivileged children. That is what is going to help fix America, not this...creative whining.
I do not want you to think that I am insensitive. I understand the fear that minorities, women, LGBTQ, and others hold at their autonomy and freedoms being attacked. I do. But nothing has happened yet. Nobody has rounded anybody up. No dictator was elected; last I checked we still have checks and balances and separation of powers for these very reasons. One man does not make all of the decisions. If and when anything resembling unspeakable evils do happen, I will be the first to welcome people into my home, offer my resources and time to try to prevent the atrocities. But Donald Trump was elected; he earned the presidency.
As well, this vehement hatred towards Trump supporters has got to stop! Comparing them to Nazis is not ok; physical violence of any kind toward them is not ok; and grossly overstating that all trump supporters are stupid, racist, hate women, etc. is not ok! Not associating with people who have different thoughts is never going to allow your thinking and opinions to be refined. No change will happen. When George Washington was elected president, his top two advisers were from opposing political parties. He welcomed the chance to hear differing opinions. Get to know people at a personal level if you want to make judgments about them. Try and understand their perspective and where they're coming from rather than just making a blanket statement about an entire group of people, 99% of whom you have never met. Again, process your anger by making the world around you better; channeling it into hate helps nobody. I say this not as someone who supported or voted for Donald Trump, but as somebody who firmly believes that it is right to love those different than you and accept the company of those with differing view points, as well as offering them hospitality.
Some of you will write this off, and I don't mind (even though you are proving me correct.). I am not, after all, interested in being right, I am interested in being righteous. There are many problems with politics in the US, and I do believe that the two-party system separates far more than it unifies. It allows people to ignorantly vote merely along party lines regardless of whether their candidate stands for something right or good or not, and takes away the impetus for critical thinking. But it isn't through protests and exclusion of those who think differently than us that this gets accomplish. It is by open discourse and loving those that have less, actively being a part of setting right the evils that we see in the world, that this gets accomplished. If you are too weak or lazy to put that into practice, than you have only yourself to blame.
Thursday, September 8, 2016
4 Months
In many ways, this is a follow-up to my (semi) recent '7 Years' post. In that post I discussed how impactful living in IV through the past 7 years has been. This post is a bit different. It all came about in a bathroom.
Recently I was in the restaurant/brewery that I used to work in and I went to the men's bathroom to poop. While on the toilet, my mind came to the sentence 'How did I get here?' It has been just four months since I was serving food there in order to make a living, walking from my house in Isla Vista, without a car or a credit card. In many respects, it still felt like I was floundering and I knew that I needed something more. Fast forward four months and so much has changed. I am now a marketing automation specialist at a company with over 600 employees, living in the hills of Goleta, commuting to work, and paying for things with essentially only my credit card. In just a summer really, all of this has changed, and it is only now, in retrospect, that I feel like I am at a place where I can really process through the way that this leaves me.
In many respects this was a long summer with different emotions than I have felt lately. June and July flew by whereas August felt like several months itself. Even when I think back to this one simple month it seems like many months of life passed by. And now September has picked up a frenetic pace. It is strange to think through the things that I care about now and how different it is. I still have good friends, friends whom I pursue and relationships that I carefully nurture. Meanwhile, I like feeling like an adult finally. Sure, having a job by no means is what makes someone an adult, but it is a plethora of different things, including the job, general pace of life, the rhythm, even feeling like my emotions have leveled out a bit. (I say that not as a negative, keep in mind that for like three years it kind of felt like I had not emotions). Now there is a girl that I have a crush on, not knowing what to do with it, I have love for fewer friends and not being as spread out feels great, I write poetry and having a healthy outlet to process through who I am is incredibly useful, I am a vital part of a team and while sometimes the vital part feels like a lie, I know that I am valued at least at one place. I guess that balance is probably one thing that is true of my life now. For the past three years I felt crooked and disjointed and while I was still doing good here and there, I largely did not know or even at times recognize myself. Now, I know who I am.
I am weird, very silly, fiercely loyal to a fault, a thinker yet not to the extent that my head gets stuck in the clouds, I am exceptionally nerdy, I sometimes do not know what to say, but I also will defend those who need defense. I am also much more honest than I used to be; I just don't have any desire to hide who I am anymore. I am far from perfect, and up front about that pretty quickly; indeed, I am not even up to my own standard, but I am growing. I desire to be better tomorrow than I was today, and better still the next day. I try to be grateful for what others do for me, and more so, for opportunities to help others. I am often selfish, lazy, and sometimes uncreative, but more often I crave creativity. I am still and always will be someone who loves Jesus and tries to do what is right by Him. I am intensely skeptical, but that often serves to make me more intense in whatever I do (thought occasionally it also leads me to not do things that I should be doing).
Honestly I did not know that this post would turn into this, but as I wrote, I need some time to process through the previous three months as the season shifts and pumpkin everything emerges. But what a four month span it has been. These days I feel my age more than before, not just less energy than I used to have, but more motivation to use the energy well, productively, and creatively. I am not perfect, but I am committed to making the world around me better. Let us pursue life together.
For the sake of nostalgia, I will end this blog like I would have in college.
~Good Luck and Good Eats
Recently I was in the restaurant/brewery that I used to work in and I went to the men's bathroom to poop. While on the toilet, my mind came to the sentence 'How did I get here?' It has been just four months since I was serving food there in order to make a living, walking from my house in Isla Vista, without a car or a credit card. In many respects, it still felt like I was floundering and I knew that I needed something more. Fast forward four months and so much has changed. I am now a marketing automation specialist at a company with over 600 employees, living in the hills of Goleta, commuting to work, and paying for things with essentially only my credit card. In just a summer really, all of this has changed, and it is only now, in retrospect, that I feel like I am at a place where I can really process through the way that this leaves me.
In many respects this was a long summer with different emotions than I have felt lately. June and July flew by whereas August felt like several months itself. Even when I think back to this one simple month it seems like many months of life passed by. And now September has picked up a frenetic pace. It is strange to think through the things that I care about now and how different it is. I still have good friends, friends whom I pursue and relationships that I carefully nurture. Meanwhile, I like feeling like an adult finally. Sure, having a job by no means is what makes someone an adult, but it is a plethora of different things, including the job, general pace of life, the rhythm, even feeling like my emotions have leveled out a bit. (I say that not as a negative, keep in mind that for like three years it kind of felt like I had not emotions). Now there is a girl that I have a crush on, not knowing what to do with it, I have love for fewer friends and not being as spread out feels great, I write poetry and having a healthy outlet to process through who I am is incredibly useful, I am a vital part of a team and while sometimes the vital part feels like a lie, I know that I am valued at least at one place. I guess that balance is probably one thing that is true of my life now. For the past three years I felt crooked and disjointed and while I was still doing good here and there, I largely did not know or even at times recognize myself. Now, I know who I am.
I am weird, very silly, fiercely loyal to a fault, a thinker yet not to the extent that my head gets stuck in the clouds, I am exceptionally nerdy, I sometimes do not know what to say, but I also will defend those who need defense. I am also much more honest than I used to be; I just don't have any desire to hide who I am anymore. I am far from perfect, and up front about that pretty quickly; indeed, I am not even up to my own standard, but I am growing. I desire to be better tomorrow than I was today, and better still the next day. I try to be grateful for what others do for me, and more so, for opportunities to help others. I am often selfish, lazy, and sometimes uncreative, but more often I crave creativity. I am still and always will be someone who loves Jesus and tries to do what is right by Him. I am intensely skeptical, but that often serves to make me more intense in whatever I do (thought occasionally it also leads me to not do things that I should be doing).
Honestly I did not know that this post would turn into this, but as I wrote, I need some time to process through the previous three months as the season shifts and pumpkin everything emerges. But what a four month span it has been. These days I feel my age more than before, not just less energy than I used to have, but more motivation to use the energy well, productively, and creatively. I am not perfect, but I am committed to making the world around me better. Let us pursue life together.
For the sake of nostalgia, I will end this blog like I would have in college.
~Good Luck and Good Eats
Saturday, June 18, 2016
7 Years
A 7-year chapter of my life has come to a close. I have moved out of Isla Vista, a place that I called home for 7 years. I have been very emotional through this experience, and I am not sure how to react. Walking through the tired, worn-down, empty Isla Vista has had its effect on me. I have lived for my entire adult live in IV, and everything that I have done as an adult, the decisions that I have made, have been in IV. IV has shaped me and as I leave it, I feel that I am leaving a part of me with it. I think that I remember the relationships that I developed, many of which have since faded, and the experiences that those relationships wrought. It is intimidating, harrowing even, to face a new, extremely unknown chapter of my life, and yet it is necessary now. I cannot stay in IV any longer; I stretched it and wrung all of the juice out of it, and now I move on. But how? IV is covered with ghosts of my past and people that I once loved. I have prayed countless words over IV, cried so many tears, laughed uncontrollably, wanted to run and hide, learned to cook, got my driver's license, saw multiple generations of students pass through, felt the deepest emotion and the entire spectrum of emotion, felt no emotion, experienced bleak loneliness, experienced the utter joy of being alone, felt deeply loved, felt deeply neglected, grew out my beard for the first time, changed my haircut for the first time, got my first real job, got a college diploma, baked wedding cakes, walked every square inch of UCSB and IV, felt heartbreak, tragedy, and loss, baptized people, mentored people, discipled people, felt the depths of failure, learned who I am so much more, developed who I am so much more, gained friends and family, lost friends and family. And through all of this, IV was there, like a constant friend.
It is hard to leave, but, like I said, necessary. The greatest thing that I take away (and there are many) is that I can wade through this next chapter of my life confidently. Going in I had no idea what to make of college, and even less idea how to traverse life after, and yet the gentle guiding hand of God was with me, leading me through the high grasses. And now here I am, examining my past, trying to make sense of who I am. Isla Vista will always be a part of me, and not because I spent four years partying and I love to party, but because I spent 7 years maturing and becoming man, growing and changing with the businesses and streets around me. That seemed to be the constant in my life those seven years: God and change. I am scared now as I experience emotions and thoughts that I have not in many years, but I am confident as well, loved deeply by an infinite creator God whom I know in very different ways than when I first met Him. But I think that Isla Vista for me will always have a place in my heart because it is the place where I first got to know that God well. Just as so many relationships in my life now, I cultivated the relationship that I have with God through long walks in IV, through seeking throughout the streets, through doing life with Him. IV enabled me to do that uniquely in a way that no other place has. I feel it. There is an emotion that I feel at times, and it would not be inappropriate for me to call that emotion 'Isla Vista.' In many ways it is a conglomeration of 7 years worth of experiences crammed into one little lightning bolt that hits my heart from time to time and leaves me as quickly as it came.
In what has become one of my favorite books of all time, C. S. Lewis (who has become one of my favorite authors of all time) writes this about joy: "[Joy] must be sharply distinguished both from Happiness and Pleasure. Joy (in my sense) has indeed one characteristic, and one only, in common with them; the fact that anyone who has experienced it will want it again … I doubt whether anyone who has tasted it would ever, if both were in his power, exchange it for all the pleasures in the world. But then Joy is never in our power and Pleasure often is.” When I think of Isla Vista and the seven years that I lived there (and honestly, if I allowed myself to properly simmer in the thoughts of that place, I could easily be taken captive and wind up writing an entire book. There are far too many places and feelings associated with that chapter of my life to be able to condense or list them all) I think of joy. I think that IV may be the place that I first experienced the type of joy that Lewis talks about (and if you, reader, would like a better understanding of the joy that I am talking about, read Surprised by Joy) outside of an experience that I link it to from my childhood, and I have experienced it too many times to remember in Isla Vista. The fact is, Joy like this is not necessarily pleasurable, that is the point. I do not feel pleasure at leaving IV, I feel sadness, regret, missed opportunity, and a touch of loneliness. Yet, I cannot connote these feelings as negative; they are deeply positive and thus I declare them joy. For it is in leaving IV that I see the effect that this place had in making me who I am and of using what was already there, taking the raw materials that this boy came in with, and shaping them into a man.
And now I step boldly into uncharted waters. I will react to these waters as much as they are reacting to me, just as Isla Vista has reacted to me. I mourn for it, and it mourns for me. And yet, ultimately one of the reasons that I know that it is time for me to leave is because I have felt a feeling of completeness. I feel that I have done what was set before me to do there. I have impacted so many lives, and that is what makes it so hard to leave. And yet, it is time. This feeling of completeness accompanies a feeling of wishing that I could be back in the thick of it-4 or so years in, loving Isla Vista and the people there because I knew my purpose there so well. And yet that purpose is done, and I am thankful that it is so. I know longer could do the same things that I did there. All things are being made new, and I am content with what I have done there.
It is hard to leave, but, like I said, necessary. The greatest thing that I take away (and there are many) is that I can wade through this next chapter of my life confidently. Going in I had no idea what to make of college, and even less idea how to traverse life after, and yet the gentle guiding hand of God was with me, leading me through the high grasses. And now here I am, examining my past, trying to make sense of who I am. Isla Vista will always be a part of me, and not because I spent four years partying and I love to party, but because I spent 7 years maturing and becoming man, growing and changing with the businesses and streets around me. That seemed to be the constant in my life those seven years: God and change. I am scared now as I experience emotions and thoughts that I have not in many years, but I am confident as well, loved deeply by an infinite creator God whom I know in very different ways than when I first met Him. But I think that Isla Vista for me will always have a place in my heart because it is the place where I first got to know that God well. Just as so many relationships in my life now, I cultivated the relationship that I have with God through long walks in IV, through seeking throughout the streets, through doing life with Him. IV enabled me to do that uniquely in a way that no other place has. I feel it. There is an emotion that I feel at times, and it would not be inappropriate for me to call that emotion 'Isla Vista.' In many ways it is a conglomeration of 7 years worth of experiences crammed into one little lightning bolt that hits my heart from time to time and leaves me as quickly as it came.
In what has become one of my favorite books of all time, C. S. Lewis (who has become one of my favorite authors of all time) writes this about joy: "[Joy] must be sharply distinguished both from Happiness and Pleasure. Joy (in my sense) has indeed one characteristic, and one only, in common with them; the fact that anyone who has experienced it will want it again … I doubt whether anyone who has tasted it would ever, if both were in his power, exchange it for all the pleasures in the world. But then Joy is never in our power and Pleasure often is.” When I think of Isla Vista and the seven years that I lived there (and honestly, if I allowed myself to properly simmer in the thoughts of that place, I could easily be taken captive and wind up writing an entire book. There are far too many places and feelings associated with that chapter of my life to be able to condense or list them all) I think of joy. I think that IV may be the place that I first experienced the type of joy that Lewis talks about (and if you, reader, would like a better understanding of the joy that I am talking about, read Surprised by Joy) outside of an experience that I link it to from my childhood, and I have experienced it too many times to remember in Isla Vista. The fact is, Joy like this is not necessarily pleasurable, that is the point. I do not feel pleasure at leaving IV, I feel sadness, regret, missed opportunity, and a touch of loneliness. Yet, I cannot connote these feelings as negative; they are deeply positive and thus I declare them joy. For it is in leaving IV that I see the effect that this place had in making me who I am and of using what was already there, taking the raw materials that this boy came in with, and shaping them into a man.
And now I step boldly into uncharted waters. I will react to these waters as much as they are reacting to me, just as Isla Vista has reacted to me. I mourn for it, and it mourns for me. And yet, ultimately one of the reasons that I know that it is time for me to leave is because I have felt a feeling of completeness. I feel that I have done what was set before me to do there. I have impacted so many lives, and that is what makes it so hard to leave. And yet, it is time. This feeling of completeness accompanies a feeling of wishing that I could be back in the thick of it-4 or so years in, loving Isla Vista and the people there because I knew my purpose there so well. And yet that purpose is done, and I am thankful that it is so. I know longer could do the same things that I did there. All things are being made new, and I am content with what I have done there.
Sunday, June 12, 2016
How to Mourn Amidst Tragedy
I apologize in advance for the title of this post-it may lead you to believe that I have an answer to this question. I can firmly tell you that I do not. What happened last night in Orlando, FL (the worst shooting in American history, which is saying something, at a gay nightclub in which 50 people died and more were injured) is an abomination, but unfortunately and with great sadness, not uncommon. True, we have never seen anything on that scale but mass shootings in this country and this broken world happen all too frequently, and every time that they do I find myself faced with the same question-how do you mourn? If you are of the family members of those who were lost, how do you handle it? Can you possibly take the condolences and the prayers and the nice-sounding words and sentiments and internalize them and squeeze some hope out of them? It does not alleviate the reality. It does not change the fact that love has been taken away, at some level. Tragedy. How does anybody possibly deal with it.
I am not here to offer a solution. True, I have lived through a tragedy (The Isla Vista shooting of 2014 in which more than 5 were killed and more injured) and I saw a community mourn and advance from that. But even in that, I have no solace to offer because I do believe that it differs in any and every situation. As a religious man I can point to a God who has things under control despite the chaos and who will ultimately work things in this hurting world out, but that might mean nothing to you. As somebody who believes staunchly in the power of community I can point to how communities and countries come together during tragedy, but that also might not do much for you. And if they do not, that's fine. I offer nothing.
But I offer everything. I will listen to anybody who has gone through some thing of that nature. I will sit with them in silence if they need be; I will hug and not let go for as long as it takes. We need to rethink things in this country, not just gun laws, but our own hearts. What a year it has been between the biggest mockery of an election to a litany of gun violence to intense racial tension. We need to examine the values of our culture and its current trajectory and ask ourselves difficult questions about where our hearts are at. And then make necessary changes. Discussion will go on for a week or two about this and then sadly something will come along to take it all out of our minds. We cannot let them happen. But these are lofty goals that it takes lifetimes and generations to accomplish. In the meantime, it is imperative that we treat each other with humanity-that we try to understand not just the plight of those afflicted, but the plight of any who have less. We need to love each other well. If you believe in prayer, actually pray, with all of the fervency and zeal with which you pray for your most passionate requests. If you believe in the power of hope and love then hope, and love.
These all sound like concepts, and we must begin with those. But sit with each other. Do not be afraid of awkwardness or of intimacy extended to those who have lost. Empathize and take some time out of your schedule to think deeply of those around you who are suffering every day. There is no easy solution, no simple explanation of extremely complex and intricate problems and tragedies. But there are steps. There are ways to be with people in the hope that if nothing else, presence, will make pain more bearable. And that is what we have to hope for-not to take pain away, because pain of loss is permanent. But to lessen, to bring joy and laughter back, to help people move on, but at their own time. Think well and be considerate. Nobody is evil, just deeply hurting.
I am not here to offer a solution. True, I have lived through a tragedy (The Isla Vista shooting of 2014 in which more than 5 were killed and more injured) and I saw a community mourn and advance from that. But even in that, I have no solace to offer because I do believe that it differs in any and every situation. As a religious man I can point to a God who has things under control despite the chaos and who will ultimately work things in this hurting world out, but that might mean nothing to you. As somebody who believes staunchly in the power of community I can point to how communities and countries come together during tragedy, but that also might not do much for you. And if they do not, that's fine. I offer nothing.
But I offer everything. I will listen to anybody who has gone through some thing of that nature. I will sit with them in silence if they need be; I will hug and not let go for as long as it takes. We need to rethink things in this country, not just gun laws, but our own hearts. What a year it has been between the biggest mockery of an election to a litany of gun violence to intense racial tension. We need to examine the values of our culture and its current trajectory and ask ourselves difficult questions about where our hearts are at. And then make necessary changes. Discussion will go on for a week or two about this and then sadly something will come along to take it all out of our minds. We cannot let them happen. But these are lofty goals that it takes lifetimes and generations to accomplish. In the meantime, it is imperative that we treat each other with humanity-that we try to understand not just the plight of those afflicted, but the plight of any who have less. We need to love each other well. If you believe in prayer, actually pray, with all of the fervency and zeal with which you pray for your most passionate requests. If you believe in the power of hope and love then hope, and love.
These all sound like concepts, and we must begin with those. But sit with each other. Do not be afraid of awkwardness or of intimacy extended to those who have lost. Empathize and take some time out of your schedule to think deeply of those around you who are suffering every day. There is no easy solution, no simple explanation of extremely complex and intricate problems and tragedies. But there are steps. There are ways to be with people in the hope that if nothing else, presence, will make pain more bearable. And that is what we have to hope for-not to take pain away, because pain of loss is permanent. But to lessen, to bring joy and laughter back, to help people move on, but at their own time. Think well and be considerate. Nobody is evil, just deeply hurting.
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
Pretending to be an Adult
Last night I said to my roommate the following sentence: "Man, I have so many errands to run and I owe so many people money. Is this what being an adult feels like?"
And with that it hit me: I am an adult. I work a job from 8-5 everyday, I have insurance payments and bills, and by just about every other standard of adulthood (with the exception of perhaps the most obvious, being the head of a family) I am firmly entrenched in that quite odd phenomenon of post-adolescence. Although, I am only 25 and it does not always feel like I am an adult. By this I mean that although I am one by external measures, I think that the measure that is perhaps simultaneously neglected and utterly necessary is that of the process of becoming an adult. That is something that you cannot cheat-you cannot really wake up one day and realize that you have struggled and given advice and felt deep pain and exuberant joy and been controlled by rage and fitted with logic, that you have made difficult decisions and wrestled with the moral consequences of your actions. These and more are intricate parts of becoming an adult, and I think that without this struggle, part of it is lost. In other words, an essential part of adulthood is the process of becoming an adult.
So, when I say that sometimes I feel like I am merely pretending to be an adult, like somehow I was able to sneak into the club without anybody noticing in and nobody has kicked me out yet. It is a difficult feeling to explain. One day you feel like a teenager, able to rage all night and make late-night taco bell runs (not that there is a single thing wrong with those) and seemingly the next day you are going to sleep at 9:30 looking at adolescence in the rear-view mirror. Adulthood is ill-defined in our current culture leading a friend of mine recently to comment to me that he is tired of being a 'kadult'. And maybe it is that word that best describes the way that I feel-trying to understand who I am and merely directing my own trajectory in the right direction and hoping that I come out of it resembling that great men that I grew up admiring.
But I know that I am not there yet; the 'k' is still at the front of that word and as old and even at times out-dated I often feel, I do not have wrinkles or grey hair. I have not experienced the loss of a child, there are still many markers that point to the underside of adulthood for me. So, it often does feel like I am cheating. I guess that that is a part of learning how to drop the 'k'. Becoming not my parents, but hopefully greater, not privy to the same mistakes. Mistakes are a part of who I am, and necessarily so. I cannot cheat.
Sometimes it feels like I am pretending to be an adult. But the process is part of the man.
And with that it hit me: I am an adult. I work a job from 8-5 everyday, I have insurance payments and bills, and by just about every other standard of adulthood (with the exception of perhaps the most obvious, being the head of a family) I am firmly entrenched in that quite odd phenomenon of post-adolescence. Although, I am only 25 and it does not always feel like I am an adult. By this I mean that although I am one by external measures, I think that the measure that is perhaps simultaneously neglected and utterly necessary is that of the process of becoming an adult. That is something that you cannot cheat-you cannot really wake up one day and realize that you have struggled and given advice and felt deep pain and exuberant joy and been controlled by rage and fitted with logic, that you have made difficult decisions and wrestled with the moral consequences of your actions. These and more are intricate parts of becoming an adult, and I think that without this struggle, part of it is lost. In other words, an essential part of adulthood is the process of becoming an adult.
So, when I say that sometimes I feel like I am merely pretending to be an adult, like somehow I was able to sneak into the club without anybody noticing in and nobody has kicked me out yet. It is a difficult feeling to explain. One day you feel like a teenager, able to rage all night and make late-night taco bell runs (not that there is a single thing wrong with those) and seemingly the next day you are going to sleep at 9:30 looking at adolescence in the rear-view mirror. Adulthood is ill-defined in our current culture leading a friend of mine recently to comment to me that he is tired of being a 'kadult'. And maybe it is that word that best describes the way that I feel-trying to understand who I am and merely directing my own trajectory in the right direction and hoping that I come out of it resembling that great men that I grew up admiring.
But I know that I am not there yet; the 'k' is still at the front of that word and as old and even at times out-dated I often feel, I do not have wrinkles or grey hair. I have not experienced the loss of a child, there are still many markers that point to the underside of adulthood for me. So, it often does feel like I am cheating. I guess that that is a part of learning how to drop the 'k'. Becoming not my parents, but hopefully greater, not privy to the same mistakes. Mistakes are a part of who I am, and necessarily so. I cannot cheat.
Sometimes it feels like I am pretending to be an adult. But the process is part of the man.
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Unpopular Opinion: Identity
Unpopular opinion: you are not 'ok' just the way you are.
It is all over culture-bumper stickers that read 'born ok the first time', facebook statuses that read 'just me doin' me', and things like that. The culture narrative these days has become 'you are ok just the way you are.' It is a poisonous ideology that pervades our culture and makes room for all sorts of evil. It sounds harmless, and perhaps even good. Somebody just be alright with who they are, and should not seek to change. But that is a relatively new ideology that has major consequences. It is prudent for us to constantly seek to be changing, always for the better. When we make allowances and compromises for things that are seen as evil under the guise of not offending, it distorts what is seen as normal. Even the word 'normal' has come to be seen as almost a negative in our society, when the word 'normal' has traditionally just meant what is good and right. In our society of no 'normals' there are also no 'goods' or right. Perhaps I am not explaining my point well enough. We need not think that everything that a person can be is fine, and we do not. Most people would agree that the 'radical' things like pedophilia and psychopathy are evils which are detrimental to the well being of our society and culture. However, because we have permitted so many other things that used to be seen as sexual perversions and moral ills, we have negated a culture of 'fixing' yourself and weeding out those things within oneself which are negative. Do not get me wrong, I am not advocating for a universal personality, or even necessarily a morality wherein everyone follows exactly the same criteria all of the time (indeed, different situations call for different decisions), however, I am advocating for gravitating back towards a society wherein it is permissible and even healthy to align oneself with what is good and right. I know the next step is asking what is good and right, and I get that and that is a discussion that is utterly worth having. However, not everything that a person can be is good and this idea that one needn't try and ever better oneself is simply erroneous.
I know that this will receive some push-back and perhaps some do not even agree with me that this is a prevailing culture narrative. But when you look closely at the things that our culture longs and tempts you to believe, the idea that you are perfect just the way that you are is in there. And I know I am not perfect; I have so far to go, please let me be clear about that. However, I am open to change. I admit that part of who I am in not perfect and is unacceptable. Granted, there is grace in my failings. But I implore our culture to think likewise, to be utterly at peace with admitting that not everything a person is or can be is good, it's not. Much of what we desire (and what we desire and do plays a major part in us becoming who we are) is not good for ourselves or society and culture. That's ok to say. We need to restrict parts of ourselves; that is ok to say. Most of who we are is self-centered and apathetic towards the suffering going on around us. That is ok to say. What is not ok is to persist in those beliefs and practices when we as a society and a culture could be so much greater than we are. We are meant for great things if only we would admit that we are not good. We have a long way to go. This ideology combined with the previous one that I wrote about has our society headed in dangerous and unprecedented territory. We should stop and seriously consider that social ideologies that we buy into everyday.
You are not ok the way you are. Not everything you want is good. But now that you believe that, seek to be greater.
It is all over culture-bumper stickers that read 'born ok the first time', facebook statuses that read 'just me doin' me', and things like that. The culture narrative these days has become 'you are ok just the way you are.' It is a poisonous ideology that pervades our culture and makes room for all sorts of evil. It sounds harmless, and perhaps even good. Somebody just be alright with who they are, and should not seek to change. But that is a relatively new ideology that has major consequences. It is prudent for us to constantly seek to be changing, always for the better. When we make allowances and compromises for things that are seen as evil under the guise of not offending, it distorts what is seen as normal. Even the word 'normal' has come to be seen as almost a negative in our society, when the word 'normal' has traditionally just meant what is good and right. In our society of no 'normals' there are also no 'goods' or right. Perhaps I am not explaining my point well enough. We need not think that everything that a person can be is fine, and we do not. Most people would agree that the 'radical' things like pedophilia and psychopathy are evils which are detrimental to the well being of our society and culture. However, because we have permitted so many other things that used to be seen as sexual perversions and moral ills, we have negated a culture of 'fixing' yourself and weeding out those things within oneself which are negative. Do not get me wrong, I am not advocating for a universal personality, or even necessarily a morality wherein everyone follows exactly the same criteria all of the time (indeed, different situations call for different decisions), however, I am advocating for gravitating back towards a society wherein it is permissible and even healthy to align oneself with what is good and right. I know the next step is asking what is good and right, and I get that and that is a discussion that is utterly worth having. However, not everything that a person can be is good and this idea that one needn't try and ever better oneself is simply erroneous.
I know that this will receive some push-back and perhaps some do not even agree with me that this is a prevailing culture narrative. But when you look closely at the things that our culture longs and tempts you to believe, the idea that you are perfect just the way that you are is in there. And I know I am not perfect; I have so far to go, please let me be clear about that. However, I am open to change. I admit that part of who I am in not perfect and is unacceptable. Granted, there is grace in my failings. But I implore our culture to think likewise, to be utterly at peace with admitting that not everything a person is or can be is good, it's not. Much of what we desire (and what we desire and do plays a major part in us becoming who we are) is not good for ourselves or society and culture. That's ok to say. We need to restrict parts of ourselves; that is ok to say. Most of who we are is self-centered and apathetic towards the suffering going on around us. That is ok to say. What is not ok is to persist in those beliefs and practices when we as a society and a culture could be so much greater than we are. We are meant for great things if only we would admit that we are not good. We have a long way to go. This ideology combined with the previous one that I wrote about has our society headed in dangerous and unprecedented territory. We should stop and seriously consider that social ideologies that we buy into everyday.
You are not ok the way you are. Not everything you want is good. But now that you believe that, seek to be greater.
Saturday, November 28, 2015
Unpopular Opinion: Desire
Unpopular opinion: What you want is not always good for you.
There is a strange paradox that guides modern western (specifically American culture). In a person's overall life, that person is taught that if he/she wants anything, it should just be taken, at any given time. However, the paradox lies that this is not good advice in nearly any specific area of a person's life. For instance, if I ask for health advice and somebody replies that I should just eat whatever I want whenever, that is quite terrible advice and it will lead to a litany of health problems. Additionally, if somebody asks me for relationship advice, and I reply that that person should just sleep with whomever he/she wants at any time, it probably will not go too well. However, the prevailing attitude of this culture is that if you want something, you should go out and get it. But desires are often adverse to what is good for a person. Discipline may be desired, but the things that cultivate discipline are rarely. Morality as an idea my be desired, but never if it gets in the way of more selfish wants. I heard a stat that 97% of people will exit out of a youtube video if it does not load within the first three seconds. There is a prevailing impatience within this culture, and a vastly negative consequence is that all of the good that having to wait does is undone by everything being at the ready. The internet allows for this in so many differing ways. But this attitude is so detrimental in so many differing ways. So much good in character is gained from the waiting, but ultimately strength in character, integrity, and patience have given way to personal pleasure and the mentality that what a person wants that person has the right to. Nothing could be further from the truth, but unfortunately another prevailing ideology is that there is no such thing as an objective moral reality. What is good for you is good for you and what is wrong for me is wrong for me. The entire satanic bible hinges on one phrase: "Do as thou wilt." Because ultimately, even the being who is seen as more evil than anybody else knows that this mentality does not create men and women of character. I look around and I see pleasure-obsessed people who are intent on doing whatever they want and it has created a society of people killing each other because they do not get their way. The scary thing, even as I type these words, is that most people will not even see this as wrong. They will continue to think that they for some strange reason have a right to whatever they desire, not understanding the long-term adverse affects that such a mentality has on their character. People today generally like ideologies more than realities. For instance, people like the idea of being moral more than actually applying virtue. And this type of mentality is sucking our society dry of morality. It is sucking our society dry of good people and good thinkers. Sure, we still have smart people, but I am talking about people who have the ability to think well because their patience has cultivated it. Realistically, if you look at so many of the tragedies that beset modern western culture, it comes from that one prevailing sentiment, "Do as thou wilt." And what a sentiment it is.
But I do think that just writing about the problem without writing about the solution is not helping anything. People need to be willing to work, and work hard, for that which they do not have but perhaps want, and what is more, it is incredibly vital that people understand that not everything that they want is healthy for them. In fact, I would say that much of what we want is at best, neutral. Very few things that we earnestly desire help the world in some practical or substantial way. Our best option is either to shift what we desire or be willing to lay aside our quest for what we desire in favor of what is right. We need to reassess how entirely vital virtue is, and seek to understand objectively what is right. We cannot think that we can just skate by, doing what we wilt and that everything will turn out right and good. People will be neglected. Rightness and justice will be strewn aside. Rather than doing what we wilt, we need to 'do what is right, regardless of what thou wilt or thou think.' So maybe getting drunk just because one wants is not the best option. Maybe taking the job with the best salary automatically may not be what is best objectively for the world.
It is fine with me if you do not agree. I do not think many people will agree; this is just one man's unpopular opinion.
There is a strange paradox that guides modern western (specifically American culture). In a person's overall life, that person is taught that if he/she wants anything, it should just be taken, at any given time. However, the paradox lies that this is not good advice in nearly any specific area of a person's life. For instance, if I ask for health advice and somebody replies that I should just eat whatever I want whenever, that is quite terrible advice and it will lead to a litany of health problems. Additionally, if somebody asks me for relationship advice, and I reply that that person should just sleep with whomever he/she wants at any time, it probably will not go too well. However, the prevailing attitude of this culture is that if you want something, you should go out and get it. But desires are often adverse to what is good for a person. Discipline may be desired, but the things that cultivate discipline are rarely. Morality as an idea my be desired, but never if it gets in the way of more selfish wants. I heard a stat that 97% of people will exit out of a youtube video if it does not load within the first three seconds. There is a prevailing impatience within this culture, and a vastly negative consequence is that all of the good that having to wait does is undone by everything being at the ready. The internet allows for this in so many differing ways. But this attitude is so detrimental in so many differing ways. So much good in character is gained from the waiting, but ultimately strength in character, integrity, and patience have given way to personal pleasure and the mentality that what a person wants that person has the right to. Nothing could be further from the truth, but unfortunately another prevailing ideology is that there is no such thing as an objective moral reality. What is good for you is good for you and what is wrong for me is wrong for me. The entire satanic bible hinges on one phrase: "Do as thou wilt." Because ultimately, even the being who is seen as more evil than anybody else knows that this mentality does not create men and women of character. I look around and I see pleasure-obsessed people who are intent on doing whatever they want and it has created a society of people killing each other because they do not get their way. The scary thing, even as I type these words, is that most people will not even see this as wrong. They will continue to think that they for some strange reason have a right to whatever they desire, not understanding the long-term adverse affects that such a mentality has on their character. People today generally like ideologies more than realities. For instance, people like the idea of being moral more than actually applying virtue. And this type of mentality is sucking our society dry of morality. It is sucking our society dry of good people and good thinkers. Sure, we still have smart people, but I am talking about people who have the ability to think well because their patience has cultivated it. Realistically, if you look at so many of the tragedies that beset modern western culture, it comes from that one prevailing sentiment, "Do as thou wilt." And what a sentiment it is.
But I do think that just writing about the problem without writing about the solution is not helping anything. People need to be willing to work, and work hard, for that which they do not have but perhaps want, and what is more, it is incredibly vital that people understand that not everything that they want is healthy for them. In fact, I would say that much of what we want is at best, neutral. Very few things that we earnestly desire help the world in some practical or substantial way. Our best option is either to shift what we desire or be willing to lay aside our quest for what we desire in favor of what is right. We need to reassess how entirely vital virtue is, and seek to understand objectively what is right. We cannot think that we can just skate by, doing what we wilt and that everything will turn out right and good. People will be neglected. Rightness and justice will be strewn aside. Rather than doing what we wilt, we need to 'do what is right, regardless of what thou wilt or thou think.' So maybe getting drunk just because one wants is not the best option. Maybe taking the job with the best salary automatically may not be what is best objectively for the world.
It is fine with me if you do not agree. I do not think many people will agree; this is just one man's unpopular opinion.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Unpopular Opinion: Tragedy
Unpopular Opinion: 'feeling bad' about a terrible tragedy does nothing to make it better, coding your facebook profile picture with the French Flag does not make anything better. What happened in Paris this past week was nothing short of horrendous, a terrible tragedy that is a black mark on humanity akin to evil. And we should have a visceral, even internally violent reaction to it; that shows our humanity. However, if it sops there, then nothing has changed. Additionally, sending 'good thoughts' to someone, does not really do anything either. I have been thinking about this for years, ever since poor Elliot Rodgers shot up Isla Vista. I saw a community come together in response, but really, what does that do. The claim could be made that any of these responses that I am calling out can create within someone a heart of greater compassion and empathy, or that they could spread awareness of the issue; I am open to these arguments. But that actually does cut to the truth of the matter: the tragedy is internal before it is ever external. Allow me to reiterate before I continue, what happened in Paris is a tragedy, a tragedy that cannot be reversed; unfortunately no tragedy can be reversed. But as a society it is imperative that we fix and repair what it is within us that creates this type of tragedy, and even more, offers little in terms of practical reactions. Look, it's not necessarily a bad thing to have these reactions, but it is not enough. Donating money to relief, praying for France (if you believe that prayer has affect beyond the words), calling your loved ones to make sure that their hearts are not thoroughly grieved, and most of all, removing ourselves from the fantasy worlds in which we too often chose to dwell in order to work on our society. There is much work that needs to be done, evidenced even by the selfish reactions to the tragedy, the 'me-centered' reactions. Our society has lost its code of ethics and its desire to come alongside those who are suffering and sacrifice, suffer ourselves, to make sure that their suffering does not last and that they are treated with light at the end of the tunnel. That is something that affects change. Our all too-often pitiful excuses for feeling bad, sending good-thoughts, or changing our facebook tragedies temporarily does not cut to the heart; their are ineffective.
Let me be clear about one thing: I am a hypocrite. I did and have been praying for France, (and I should be praying for ISIS) but I have not given money, I have not opened the much-needed social dialogue that needs to be opened to talk about what to do. I have not asked France what they need in their time of suffering. But I do want to open the dialogue. I do want to challenge our society to think through where we are at as a culture, a species even, that gun violence, racism, sexual slavery, selfishness, and gross income inequality not only exist but are prevalent. Honestly, we need to take time not only personally and individually, but socially on the micro and macro levels to discuss the changes that need to be made. These changes have to start in our hearts, inwardly. We need to get back to thinking how we can love each other, how we can care about each other. The mindset needs to change from 'what can I get from this person' to 'what can I sacrifice for this person.' We need to change our personal and our collective narratives. The technology in our society allows us to be more connected than ever before with people with whom we never would have had access to before. And it has not seemed to increase compassion and generosity, but rather beat these concepts down and suppressed them. It is a terrible fact of modern culture and life. It is on us. We cannot continue to attribute these tragedies to 'the other' whomever that may be, and play the role of the victim. I am not saying that the guilty party needn't be held responsible, they very much should in ever tragedy, but while we 'feel bad', 'send good thoughts', 'offer our condolences', and change our Facebook pictures, let us also try to love France, let us also examine our own hearts and see who we possess hate towards, let us also change the selfish course of our lives such that we are utterly considerate of the plights of those around us, near and far, and include them in our narratives. Rather than focusing on esoteric 'feelings', let us seek both short-term and long-term change.
Once one group is defeated, another will not cease to step up and take their place unless we begin to think long and hard, and it will be hard make no mistake, honest, critical self-examination always is, at our hearts in order to affect change for good. And then start to put those things into motion. Do not just make it words or feelings, but actions and attitudes of the heart. Sacrifice until it cuts you, give until it hurts you, love until you feel as if you have nothing left to give, and do not dare think of yourself so highly that you can justify hate. I am not saying that I possess all of the actions or that I do not have more work to do than anybody else, I do, but I am interested in actually affecting long-term change so that maybe my kids will not be so acquainted with the inane frequency of heart-wrenching tragedies as I am. We are flying upside down. Let's start to right the ship.
Let me be clear about one thing: I am a hypocrite. I did and have been praying for France, (and I should be praying for ISIS) but I have not given money, I have not opened the much-needed social dialogue that needs to be opened to talk about what to do. I have not asked France what they need in their time of suffering. But I do want to open the dialogue. I do want to challenge our society to think through where we are at as a culture, a species even, that gun violence, racism, sexual slavery, selfishness, and gross income inequality not only exist but are prevalent. Honestly, we need to take time not only personally and individually, but socially on the micro and macro levels to discuss the changes that need to be made. These changes have to start in our hearts, inwardly. We need to get back to thinking how we can love each other, how we can care about each other. The mindset needs to change from 'what can I get from this person' to 'what can I sacrifice for this person.' We need to change our personal and our collective narratives. The technology in our society allows us to be more connected than ever before with people with whom we never would have had access to before. And it has not seemed to increase compassion and generosity, but rather beat these concepts down and suppressed them. It is a terrible fact of modern culture and life. It is on us. We cannot continue to attribute these tragedies to 'the other' whomever that may be, and play the role of the victim. I am not saying that the guilty party needn't be held responsible, they very much should in ever tragedy, but while we 'feel bad', 'send good thoughts', 'offer our condolences', and change our Facebook pictures, let us also try to love France, let us also examine our own hearts and see who we possess hate towards, let us also change the selfish course of our lives such that we are utterly considerate of the plights of those around us, near and far, and include them in our narratives. Rather than focusing on esoteric 'feelings', let us seek both short-term and long-term change.
Once one group is defeated, another will not cease to step up and take their place unless we begin to think long and hard, and it will be hard make no mistake, honest, critical self-examination always is, at our hearts in order to affect change for good. And then start to put those things into motion. Do not just make it words or feelings, but actions and attitudes of the heart. Sacrifice until it cuts you, give until it hurts you, love until you feel as if you have nothing left to give, and do not dare think of yourself so highly that you can justify hate. I am not saying that I possess all of the actions or that I do not have more work to do than anybody else, I do, but I am interested in actually affecting long-term change so that maybe my kids will not be so acquainted with the inane frequency of heart-wrenching tragedies as I am. We are flying upside down. Let's start to right the ship.
Friday, July 10, 2015
People: Alex Markovich
I have been out of college for two years now. A lot of people have impacted me in those two years and I figure that it is high time that I start to tell them how they make me feel. I am focusing primarily on the people that I did not get a chance to thank in college but have left their imprint on me since. I have no target number to compete, but I need to inform people that they have loved. Considering that I have grown less emotional since college, this project does pose its problems; have grace on me please. This post is about a real man, Alex Markovich.
Alex, your role in my life cannot be underscored. I very much respect the man that you are. I have seen so many beautiful things about you, from the way that you hold to your principles to the way that you listen to people well. You are able to be silly with me but also discuss things that actually matter. At your core that is what you are, somebody who cares about real things, things that actually matter. Having you in my life, in my house inspires me to be a better man because you are a good man. I feel so comfortable with you and having met your parents, I can say that you come from good stock, and the apple has not fallen far from the tree. You think well Alex, and you are more well thought out than most other people that I have talked to. Not only so, but you are somebody who enjoys life and seeks to live it.
Alex, I am so thankful that we are friends. I do not think that I feel worthy to be your friend. You are working for a great life, and when I think of you, laziness is not something that comes to my mind. I have a tendency to be lazy and having you as a good friend helps to alleviate that. I think even more so, you are not a man who makes excuses; when you make a mistake you own up to it. You have loved me in certain ways that few others have, taking an interest in the things that I find interesting and the things that I like. (You read my story when nobody else would despite being in another continent. That is just one small example.) These things may not sound exceptional to you but that is just because it is merely the way that you think. To you, being a good man is the prerogative, and I appreciate you being a man of principle.
Alex, thanking you for loving me and being such a good friend in many different ways. I feel honored to be a part of your life.
Alex, I am so thankful that we are friends. I do not think that I feel worthy to be your friend. You are working for a great life, and when I think of you, laziness is not something that comes to my mind. I have a tendency to be lazy and having you as a good friend helps to alleviate that. I think even more so, you are not a man who makes excuses; when you make a mistake you own up to it. You have loved me in certain ways that few others have, taking an interest in the things that I find interesting and the things that I like. (You read my story when nobody else would despite being in another continent. That is just one small example.) These things may not sound exceptional to you but that is just because it is merely the way that you think. To you, being a good man is the prerogative, and I appreciate you being a man of principle.
Alex, thanking you for loving me and being such a good friend in many different ways. I feel honored to be a part of your life.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
People: Jonah Erickson
I have been out of college for two years now. A lot of people have impacted me in those two years and I figure that it is high time that I start to tell them how they make me feel. I am focusing primarily on the people that I did not get a chance to thank in college but have left their imprint on me since. I have no target number to compete, but I need to inform people that they have loved. Considering that I have grown less emotional since college, this project does pose its problems; have grace on me please. This post is about a dear friend, Jonah.
Jonah, over the past few years you have been such a big encouragement to me. You are someone who thinks through things well and does not act merely upon instinct, but you seek out what is honestly best, and that is such an endearing quality to me. You are a man of principle, an ethical man, a dying breed today. As well, one of the ways that you encourage me well is by being creative, which goes back to helping you think through things differently. You also critique well. At times it has felt like I am talking with myself when I talk with you, and you always make it a point to listen well to me. I have always had a good time with you and you have helped me through some difficult times. It is encouraging for me to see someone who loves so well and loves so many well. You also care deeply about Christ and for Christ and there is room in our relationship to discuss things of faith as well as our relationship with a loving King. You are a rare breed Jonah, and you have done some work on my heart, whether or not you realize it. It is great to be able to share a friendship with you.
Jonah, you are one of the people who encourages me most to be a better man, in so many ways. You are never satisfied with the status quo. You have sought out life and you have sought out me. I am so thankful for you and I want to make sure to continue to pursue you. I need you in you my life. You are a good influence on my character, I do believe. Jonah, there is not enough that I can say about you, and you bring life to me.
Jonah, you impress me with the life that you live, and I am so excited to continue our friendship. I thrive on your childlikeness mixed with your maturity. You are a man and I love you.
Jonah, you are one of the people who encourages me most to be a better man, in so many ways. You are never satisfied with the status quo. You have sought out life and you have sought out me. I am so thankful for you and I want to make sure to continue to pursue you. I need you in you my life. You are a good influence on my character, I do believe. Jonah, there is not enough that I can say about you, and you bring life to me.
Jonah, you impress me with the life that you live, and I am so excited to continue our friendship. I thrive on your childlikeness mixed with your maturity. You are a man and I love you.
Friday, June 26, 2015
People: Levi Miller
I have been out of college for two years now. A lot of people have impacted me in those two years and I figure that it is high time that I start to tell them how they make me feel. I am focusing primarily on the people that I did not get a chance to thank in college but have left their imprint on me since. I have no target number to compete, but I need to inform people that they have loved. Considering that I have grown less emotional since college, this project does pose its problems; have grace on me please. This post is about my brother, Levi Miller.
Levi, it has been said that a man's character is in some part dictated by the people around him. I believe this and because I believe this, I am so thankful that you are in my life. You inspire me to be a better man in so many ways. You are a man of principle, and in an age that we live in that is so rare. One of the reasons that I love you so much is because you have so much life and energy in you and it is not so much that that is not the case for me, but at times I feel worn down. At times I feel like I have no energy and that I am not living up to my position or potential, and you consistently encourage me. Everytime that I spend time with you I am refreshed. I feel like you listen to me well and give me room to talk about the things that I enjoy and thrive in. Additionally, I enjoy listening to you as well because I think that your ideas come from a good place and that you think differently and outside of the box. I have come to realize that you see people as having intrinsic value to them, nobody is not worthwhile for frivolous reasons. One of the greatest compliments that I can give to you is that you are someone that I actually want to influence me because I think that I will become a better man through it.
Levi, this year I have needed your friendship so much. Many times I have spent with you and they have been some of my favorite days from the past year. I can confide in you and trust that you have my best interests at heart. The only thing that I feel like I do not have enough of is time with you, and you are a friend that I really hope will be in my life for a long time. You listen and love well, and it is so prudent to see someone who is not complacent with the type of man that he is; you seek to understand yourself and better yourself, not be ok with who you are. This is something that I too seek. You have been like a brother to me for much of the past year, and I have often failed to reciprocate the type of love that you have shown me, but I have been trying. I also am able to feel love for you, something that I cannot say for many people these days, and that alone encourages and challenges me.
Levi, all this to say that I could not in this small space hope to parlay what you mean to me. I am inspired by your desire to live simply and share and give what you have to others. I hope that I have been a positive influence in your life and I appreciate so much your love and friendship for me.
Levi, this year I have needed your friendship so much. Many times I have spent with you and they have been some of my favorite days from the past year. I can confide in you and trust that you have my best interests at heart. The only thing that I feel like I do not have enough of is time with you, and you are a friend that I really hope will be in my life for a long time. You listen and love well, and it is so prudent to see someone who is not complacent with the type of man that he is; you seek to understand yourself and better yourself, not be ok with who you are. This is something that I too seek. You have been like a brother to me for much of the past year, and I have often failed to reciprocate the type of love that you have shown me, but I have been trying. I also am able to feel love for you, something that I cannot say for many people these days, and that alone encourages and challenges me.
Levi, all this to say that I could not in this small space hope to parlay what you mean to me. I am inspired by your desire to live simply and share and give what you have to others. I hope that I have been a positive influence in your life and I appreciate so much your love and friendship for me.
Thursday, June 18, 2015
People: Bloodbath
I have been out of college for two years now. A lot of people have impacted me in those two years and I figure that it is high time that I start to tell them how they make me feel. I am focusing primarily on the people that I did not get a chance to thank in college but have left their imprint on me since. I have no target number to compete, but I need to inform people that they have loved. Considering that I have grown less emotional since college, this project does pose its problems; have grace on me please. This post is about my shortest friend, Bloodbath.
Blood, before I stayed with you those two months, I had no idea that we were going to become so close. Really, I needed your friendship so much that summer, more than I could ever properly explain. It was a difficult summer in reference to what exactly I was doing, but my blossoming friendship with you made was easily the best thing about that summer. I miss you very much and I still plan to visit you sometime when I can because I feel like you and I are kindred souls. I enjoy hanging out with you so much and you are so low maintenance. You love food and I feel like life with you was so simple and yet so enjoyable for me. You allowed me to see the world in a way that I was not accustomed to seeing it in, and that type of impact on my life is invaluable. We also did not need much to become friends, but one of the things that appealed to me most about you is that you had a desire to mature and a willingness follow suit. You are more of an adult than most people I know, especially in the way that you take care of those around you that you care for and in the way that you see the world. Life was not always easy for you, but you grew from that and overcame the difficulties; that is so inspiring to me. So much of who you are inspires me to be a better man.
Blood, you are a great man and a great friend. I have enjoyed all of the time that I have spent with you, even though I feel like it has been far too brief. The memories that I have to think of that we have spent together are so fond and pleasant, as is that period of my life, and you played such a large part of that. Somehow you are more mature than most of your friends, which is not surprising, but you are also more mature than most of my friends, which is saying something. You have your head on straight, and you are destined to lead a life that matters and a life that loves others well.
Thank you for your friendship Kyle. I love you.
Blood, you are a great man and a great friend. I have enjoyed all of the time that I have spent with you, even though I feel like it has been far too brief. The memories that I have to think of that we have spent together are so fond and pleasant, as is that period of my life, and you played such a large part of that. Somehow you are more mature than most of your friends, which is not surprising, but you are also more mature than most of my friends, which is saying something. You have your head on straight, and you are destined to lead a life that matters and a life that loves others well.
Thank you for your friendship Kyle. I love you.
Monday, June 15, 2015
People: Jamu
I have been out of college for two years now. A lot of people have impacted me in those two years and I figure that it is high time that I start to tell them how they make me feel. I am focusing primarily on the people that I did not get a chance to thank in college but have left their imprint on me since. I have no target number to compete, but I need to inform people that they have loved. Considering that I have grown less emotional since college, this project does pose its problems; have grace on me please. This post is about my German brother, Jamu.
Jamu, to say that you are a brother to me is an understatement. I met you in my kitchen, and from the moment I met you I instantly enjoyed you. I have known you for less than a year and yet in that year you have been able to impress me with who you are. People have consistently thought of us as brothers, and I am always glad when people do because you are such a brother to me. You are a joy to have around in every circumstance and situation. You have shown a resiliency and your willingness to hang out in a wide variety of situations is refreshing. You are polite and considerate and you always wanted to know how you could include me in what you were doing. I appreciate that. I met a lot of international people this year, but none of them are quite like you. You are a man in the most accurate sense of the word, strong and a good leader while simultaneously emotional and loving. In my life particularly, I needed your friendship this year. You listened to me and I loved coming home to see you there. You are like a brother to me Jamu.
I appreciate your openness as well, consistently giving me room to think and process, and although you made your work a priority, you also made life a priority, going out of your way to do different things. Not only did you allow me to be open, but you have always been open with me about your thoughts and the way that you feel. One of the things that I most enjoy about you is that I am able to be with you in a variety of different events; eating, a sunset walk, getting mcflurrys, celebrating the holidays, talking at dance parties, and going up into the mountains to get tri-tip. I have so many pleasant memories with you, yet our friendship is by no means over. I want you to be a part of my life for years to come because you are a special type of friend and man and individual.
Jamu, thank you for loving me so well and being such a good friend. I love and appreciate you so much.
I appreciate your openness as well, consistently giving me room to think and process, and although you made your work a priority, you also made life a priority, going out of your way to do different things. Not only did you allow me to be open, but you have always been open with me about your thoughts and the way that you feel. One of the things that I most enjoy about you is that I am able to be with you in a variety of different events; eating, a sunset walk, getting mcflurrys, celebrating the holidays, talking at dance parties, and going up into the mountains to get tri-tip. I have so many pleasant memories with you, yet our friendship is by no means over. I want you to be a part of my life for years to come because you are a special type of friend and man and individual.
Jamu, thank you for loving me so well and being such a good friend. I love and appreciate you so much.
Sunday, June 14, 2015
People: Aaron Vasey
I have been out of college for two years now. A lot of people have impacted me in those two years and I figure that it is high time that I start to tell them how they make me feel. I am focusing primarily on the people that I did not get a chance to thank in college but have left their imprint on me since. I have no target number to compete, but I need to inform people that they have loved. Considering that I have grown less emotional since college, this project does pose its problems; have grace on me please. This post is about a special friend of mine, Aaron Vasey.
Aaron, you are one of my most important friends. It is weird for me to say that, but you are someone who cares about me very very well. We have been very close since last year, and you are just a joy to be around. You make me laugh and bring me a lot of joy. I occasionally wonder why you chose to be such a good fried to me, and that only indicates just how much of a good friend you are to me. Whether it be us getting food together, walking somewhere, or just sitting watching something, I always enjoy time with you. You are someone who allows me to be very open and you listen better than most people that I know. You also ask good questions which is a part of listening well but warrants mentioning separately. Over the last two years, I will get off of work and you are one of the people that I want to see. When I think about you, I think about someone who loves well, yet I do not know why. You are someone who I really enjoy talking with as well, partially because I can be open but partially because I feel like you are interested in talking about similar things to me. You seem to have a wide enough range of interests, and many of those overlap with mine which I have become somewhat dependent on.
Aaron, I am so thankful that next year you are not leaving and thus I get a full year to live with you. You see the world in a peculiar yet lovely way. You have managed to retain your youthful innocence, something that I virtually feed off of. Sometimes I feel exhausted and tired, and not only do you refresh me, but you encourage me in a way that nobody else quite does. I am excited to continue to get to know you and watch the way that you grow and our friendship along with it. You enjoy sharing music together and overall just sharing life together, and while I sometimes get frustrated with people, you are very rarely among them; there is a reason for that. It is not because you cow-tow to what I want out of a friend, but it is because you actually love me.
Yes Vasey, with you there so much amicability and I feel loved so fiercely from you, which I can say so rarely about someone. I so very much appreciate the life that you give me and the enthusiasm which you bring to our friendship. I only hope that I can continue to love you well in return.
Aaron, I am so thankful that next year you are not leaving and thus I get a full year to live with you. You see the world in a peculiar yet lovely way. You have managed to retain your youthful innocence, something that I virtually feed off of. Sometimes I feel exhausted and tired, and not only do you refresh me, but you encourage me in a way that nobody else quite does. I am excited to continue to get to know you and watch the way that you grow and our friendship along with it. You enjoy sharing music together and overall just sharing life together, and while I sometimes get frustrated with people, you are very rarely among them; there is a reason for that. It is not because you cow-tow to what I want out of a friend, but it is because you actually love me.
Yes Vasey, with you there so much amicability and I feel loved so fiercely from you, which I can say so rarely about someone. I so very much appreciate the life that you give me and the enthusiasm which you bring to our friendship. I only hope that I can continue to love you well in return.
Friday, June 12, 2015
People: Jake Sterhagen
I have been out of college for two years now. A lot of people have impacted me in those two years and I figure that it is high time that I start to tell them how they make me feel. I am focusing primarily on the people that I did not get a chance to thank in college but have left their imprint on me since. I have no target number to compete, but I need to inform people that they have loved. Considering that I have grown less emotional since college, this project does pose its problems; have grace on me please. This post is about one of my best friends, Jake Sternhagen.
Jake, you are one of the greatest people that I know. I met you years ago at a worship night, and we have had a robust relationship ever since. Jake, there is no way that in one post I could say enough about what you mean to me, but please permit me the grace to attempt to do so anyway. For two years now, I have needed your friendship very much. You listen to me well and you give me room to talk and think. You are one of the most rational people that I know, and you have a way to make people around you think rationally, and I appreciate that because as rational as I am, I simply get fed up with people far too much. But you do not Jake; you are very reluctant to give up on people, and I do not consider that weakness, I consider it strength. You love Christ, and you are actually interested in investigating truly and completely what that means and giving energy to the thought process of figuring this all out. You are an incredibly good friend to everybody who considers you a friend, and anybody who is a friend of yours would vouch for that. After college I lost a lot of people close to me, not because they were now uninterested in being my friend, but because they left geographically. You verily filled in that gap and filled it in lovingly and exceptionally, always taking time to be intentional with me. Man Jake, you even helped me get my driver's license.
Jake, all of this to say, you have been such a good friend for so long. You make time for me, pay for me far too often. One of the things that is most substantial is that you actually give thought and effort into how to love me practically. That is such rare a trait, Jake. Most people talk about love but have no real idea or discipline to carry it out, but you are interested in practical love. Not only with me, but you seek to practically love God as well. You are unsettled when you perceive evil and wrong around you and you seek to make change. That is another rare quality to find in people, that you possess. You are a one of a kind friend to me and consequently, I have a deep-seeded love for you. I am often overwhelmed by the love that you show me because it is rare that people show love to me with that ferocity. I need that in my life, and it has created between us a spirit that allows me to discuss truly anything. Jake, there is nothing that I feel like is off-topic to discuss with you, another rare quality. I appreciate that freedom and openness.
Jake, thank you so much for being such a good friend and encouraging me so much. I truly do not know what my life would have been like if I had not led a bible study with you last year. You are a once in a lifetime friend and somebody whom I hope is in my life forever. You have a youthful vivacity combined with an adult, mature integrity. I can only see our relationship getting better because you are someone that I want to spend so much time with. I love you deeply Jake.
Jake, all of this to say, you have been such a good friend for so long. You make time for me, pay for me far too often. One of the things that is most substantial is that you actually give thought and effort into how to love me practically. That is such rare a trait, Jake. Most people talk about love but have no real idea or discipline to carry it out, but you are interested in practical love. Not only with me, but you seek to practically love God as well. You are unsettled when you perceive evil and wrong around you and you seek to make change. That is another rare quality to find in people, that you possess. You are a one of a kind friend to me and consequently, I have a deep-seeded love for you. I am often overwhelmed by the love that you show me because it is rare that people show love to me with that ferocity. I need that in my life, and it has created between us a spirit that allows me to discuss truly anything. Jake, there is nothing that I feel like is off-topic to discuss with you, another rare quality. I appreciate that freedom and openness.
Jake, thank you so much for being such a good friend and encouraging me so much. I truly do not know what my life would have been like if I had not led a bible study with you last year. You are a once in a lifetime friend and somebody whom I hope is in my life forever. You have a youthful vivacity combined with an adult, mature integrity. I can only see our relationship getting better because you are someone that I want to spend so much time with. I love you deeply Jake.
People: Troy Yamasaki
I have been out of college for two years now. A lot of people have impacted me in those two years and I figure that it is high time that I start to tell them how they make me feel. I am focusing primarily on the people that I did not get a chance to thank in college but have left their imprint on me since. I have no target number to compete, but I need to inform people that they have loved. Considering that I have grown less emotional since college, this project does pose its problems; have grace on me please. This post is about one of my favorite Asians, Troy Yamasaki.
Troy, let me start by saying how refreshing it always is to spend time with you. You are a man who constantly and consistently seeks to love Jesus and make Him known in your life and the lives of those around you. Without you my life would be much drier and though we do not always spend time together, even knowing that you are in IV to labor with me is so very needed. From the time that I met you I have had the blessing of being able to be something of a mentor to you and I am so thankful for that. You have loved me well for three years now and given me a place to be open about myself, my weaknesses, and most of all my faith and thoughts thereof. You have shown so many the love of Christ by what you have done and the way that you have acted and continue to act. Something that has been confirmed as true over and over is how considerate you are and how caring you are toward you friends. You have long been one of my favorite people to pray with because I think that you are much more intentional in your prayers than most other people that I know. Most everything about your faith is refreshing Troy, and while you are not perfect, that is a fact that I believe you understand and seek to change.
Troy, I consider it a blessing to be your friend, and knowing you often feels like knowing a celebrity, but not because of some arbitrary, vain reason, but because you have made it your mission to love people well. That does not go unnoticed, even though I know that you do not do it for the notice. For so much of last year, your faith kept me going and gave me a reason to stay strong. I have seen your commitment to Christ, even when you do not know what that looks like, and it has encouraged me to stay sinless. I appreciate that you seek to be obedient to Christ and that is something that I do not ever want you to lose.
Troy, I have spent some great times with you in the past, not just little times, but also big times like both of our birthdays over the past couple of years. I appreciate every moment that I get to spend with you, and while I have not been a perfect friend to you, I am so appreciative that you have had so much grace on me. I love you Troy, and I thank you for the impact that you have had on my life.
Troy, I consider it a blessing to be your friend, and knowing you often feels like knowing a celebrity, but not because of some arbitrary, vain reason, but because you have made it your mission to love people well. That does not go unnoticed, even though I know that you do not do it for the notice. For so much of last year, your faith kept me going and gave me a reason to stay strong. I have seen your commitment to Christ, even when you do not know what that looks like, and it has encouraged me to stay sinless. I appreciate that you seek to be obedient to Christ and that is something that I do not ever want you to lose.
Troy, I have spent some great times with you in the past, not just little times, but also big times like both of our birthdays over the past couple of years. I appreciate every moment that I get to spend with you, and while I have not been a perfect friend to you, I am so appreciative that you have had so much grace on me. I love you Troy, and I thank you for the impact that you have had on my life.
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
People: Jenny Nguyen
I have been out of college for two years now. A lot of people have impacted me in those two years and I figure that it is high time that I start to tell them how they make me feel. I am focusing primarily on the people that I did not get a chance to thank in college but have left their imprint on me since. I have no target number to compete, but I need to inform people that they have loved. Considering that I have grown less emotional since college, this project does pose its problems; have grace on me please. This post is about the person who pluralized my name, Jennies.
Jennies, allow me to start out by saying that there is no way that I could ever say enough about how much you have impacted me this year. I hardly knew you beyond face recognition before moving into the Treehouse with you, and I can say that from the moment that you moved in, I chose to believe in you. When around you, I know how much that I am cared for, and when I think of you I think of you as someone who is strong yet honest. I have never met someone who is as unabashedly, unashamedly tell people the way you feel, whether that be messed up things in your past, your sexual history, or anything else. You are honest in another way too: if you think that something is ridiculous, you will say so, if you think that someone is great, you will tell them so. That type of honesty is extremely refreshing. You care for the people around you very well, and you understand well that you are loved. You are also up front about your insecurities, which, while at times frustrating, is also very refreshing to see someone who knows what their weaknesses are. You have taught me much, and while I have matured very much this year, you have played an integral part in that. I guess what this is all saying is that I respect you immensely. You do a good job of loving, and I think that you are excellent at being a functional human being.
I think one of the other things that I really love about you is your way of taking the ridiculous things of life in stride. Life is full of ridiculous things and you do not seem to get caught up in them, but instead seem to just laugh and carry on. In that way you are more logical and less controlled by your emotions. You have so many flaws, but you are aware of them and you have so many beautiful things about you as well, Jenny. You are ambitious as well and that inspires me to want to do more because although you are a nerd at heart, you take care of what you need to do first and prioritize play where it should be without over-valuing it and thus mucking your life up unnecessarily. We have spent so many good times together, one-on-one and with groups, and you are always a joy to hang out with. You really make me feel accepted and loved so securely. I love that about you and I often think to your friendship.
Jenny, you are such a special creature and I very much appreciate you. Thank you for loving me and being so good at it while at the same time allowing me to be secure and listening to me. Thank you for that, Jenny and happy birthday. I love you.
I think one of the other things that I really love about you is your way of taking the ridiculous things of life in stride. Life is full of ridiculous things and you do not seem to get caught up in them, but instead seem to just laugh and carry on. In that way you are more logical and less controlled by your emotions. You have so many flaws, but you are aware of them and you have so many beautiful things about you as well, Jenny. You are ambitious as well and that inspires me to want to do more because although you are a nerd at heart, you take care of what you need to do first and prioritize play where it should be without over-valuing it and thus mucking your life up unnecessarily. We have spent so many good times together, one-on-one and with groups, and you are always a joy to hang out with. You really make me feel accepted and loved so securely. I love that about you and I often think to your friendship.
Jenny, you are such a special creature and I very much appreciate you. Thank you for loving me and being so good at it while at the same time allowing me to be secure and listening to me. Thank you for that, Jenny and happy birthday. I love you.
Monday, June 8, 2015
People: ZBG
I have been out of college for two years now. A lot of people have impacted me in those two years and I figure that it is high time that I start to tell them how they make me feel. I am focusing primarily on the people that I did not get a chance to thank in college but have left their imprint on me since. I have no target number to compete, but I need to inform people that they have loved. Considering that I have grown less emotional since college, this project does pose its problems; have grace on me please. This post is about a man with merely 3 letters, ZBG.
ZBG, your friendship has been such a huge blessing to e over the past two years. The day that I met you we prayed and worshiped together and I feel like that set the precedent of our friendship. I have doubted what many people think of me and experienced many friendships wherein the other person has not given back to me, but none of that has been true for you. You have always not only pursued me but pointed me directly back to Christ. I have always appreciated the way that you have loved me. your grace in my life is unparalleled and you have never treated me with anything but intense kindness and care. More than that, you have been open and honest with me and that is an easy way to get close to me. ZBG, what I have loved so much about our friendship is the way that you have listened to me and been eager to hear what I have to say, and it has given me such a space to be open about my life and my faith with someone who loves me. You have helped me to think well and have a discussion, giving me room to be myself. When I think of you I think of someone who does not desire his own glory, but you do things for the greater good. This is not entirely true, but you have taken much of what has happened to you in stride and have not broken down. I have seen you pursue friendships in order to make them great.
ZBG, I think that you do well at knowing your limits and being up front about them. You do not try to do more than you are able to and that is a rare quality in men these days. You have given me such a huge dose of grace and shown love directly to me throughout the duration of our relationship. I appreciate your willingness to go on walks and talk, get lunch if I am hungry, or be challenged if that is what I want to do. You have put up with a lot while constantly forgiving me when I transgress against you. I have needed your pointing me to Christ everytime that you have done it and your sober-minded way of looking at the world.
ZBG, there is so much more that I can say, but for now you will have to settle for me thanking you for the friendship that you have been so willing and at times eager to give to me and me letting you know that I love you. I can see myself loving you for a very long time and I hope that that vision comes through.
ZBG, I think that you do well at knowing your limits and being up front about them. You do not try to do more than you are able to and that is a rare quality in men these days. You have given me such a huge dose of grace and shown love directly to me throughout the duration of our relationship. I appreciate your willingness to go on walks and talk, get lunch if I am hungry, or be challenged if that is what I want to do. You have put up with a lot while constantly forgiving me when I transgress against you. I have needed your pointing me to Christ everytime that you have done it and your sober-minded way of looking at the world.
ZBG, there is so much more that I can say, but for now you will have to settle for me thanking you for the friendship that you have been so willing and at times eager to give to me and me letting you know that I love you. I can see myself loving you for a very long time and I hope that that vision comes through.
Sunday, June 7, 2015
People: Dane Short
I have been out of college for two years now. A lot of people have impacted me in those two years and I figure that it is high time that I start to tell them how they make me feel. I am focusing primarily on the people that I did not get a chance to thank in college but have left their imprint on me since. I have no target number to compete, but I need to inform people that they have loved. Considering that I have grown less emotional since college, this project does pose its problems; have grace on me please. This post is about my one friend taller than me, Dane Short.
Dane, from the first time that I had the opportunity to spend time with you, I have enjoyed it. The simple fact is that we have so many things that we are able to bond over, from being tall and thin, to cooking, to the intricacies of navigating life as a follower of Jesus. One of the things that I appreciate most about you Dane, is that you give me room to think and you really listen to me ardently and well. It seems like for the duration of our relationship I have had the privilege of mentoring you in many aspects of life, but believe me when i tell you that that has done as much if not more good for me than it has for you. I have so many thoughts and having someone who not only listens but wants to listen to them, is incredibly important and treasured to me. Most relationships I have to work so hard for, but with our relationship, I have been able to develop it with less effort, not because I love you less, but because you are so open to having a relationship with me. Our relationship is robust, and by that I mean that we are able to do and have done many different types of things together. We cook, talk, laugh, worship, watch, play monkeys in the sand, play signs, and many other things. This has helped enhance our relationship so much and kept it from growing stale.
Dane, if I have not done an adequate job yet of making it clear, I really appreciate that I am able to be open with you and especially that you give me a positive space in which to develop my thoughts. Your ability and willingness to listen has taught me a lot about how to listen and how to ask good questions. Additionally, I have tried to listen to you well and that is one of the reasons that we are such good friends: we listen to each other and make that a priority. You are goofy but more than open to being serious when the need arises. Additionally, you are someone that I love to hang out with in groups, partially because of your ability to be goofy or serious and partially because I always feel comfortable around you. Dane, you have transitioned from a young, eager freshman into a leader, even if you are at times reluctant to lead in the traditional sense, you lead in many ways these days, with a humble attitude, fervent spirit, and faithful heart.
Dane, I am so appreciative of your friendship and that you have been willing to take steps when I have lacked in that regard. Thank you for listening to me and having grace on me. I love you.
Dane, if I have not done an adequate job yet of making it clear, I really appreciate that I am able to be open with you and especially that you give me a positive space in which to develop my thoughts. Your ability and willingness to listen has taught me a lot about how to listen and how to ask good questions. Additionally, I have tried to listen to you well and that is one of the reasons that we are such good friends: we listen to each other and make that a priority. You are goofy but more than open to being serious when the need arises. Additionally, you are someone that I love to hang out with in groups, partially because of your ability to be goofy or serious and partially because I always feel comfortable around you. Dane, you have transitioned from a young, eager freshman into a leader, even if you are at times reluctant to lead in the traditional sense, you lead in many ways these days, with a humble attitude, fervent spirit, and faithful heart.
Dane, I am so appreciative of your friendship and that you have been willing to take steps when I have lacked in that regard. Thank you for listening to me and having grace on me. I love you.
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