It has been a while since I have written anything on here. This is not because of a lack of interesting thoughts, but actually an overabundance such that I do not know where to start. However, I want to get back into using this to write my thoughts down because I am beginning to see how valuable my thoughts actually are.
Lately I have realized two things about myself; the first is that I am such a blessed man. One of the gifts that God has always given me is the ability to see my blessing more clearly and completely than others, partially because I am able to see my imperfections so astutely as well. I thank God for so many of his blessings-the little things like eyelashes, flushing toilets, and a bed to sleep on, as well as the large things like a job that I thrive in, a wealth of relationships, and the ability to live in beautiful Santa Barbara. All of these things are blessings. The simple fact is that I just have more than other people, and I know it. One of the consequences of realizing just how utterly blessed I am is that I desire to share that blessing, whether it be material, emotional, or just sitting and listening to someone (because the ability to listen and listen well is such a blessing). I no longer think of these blessings as just given for the benefit of me, but in order to spread the kingdom and make disciples as well. But I would implore anybody who does not consider themselves unbelievably blessed to sit down and analyze things like unlimited access to clean drinking water, food whenever it is desired, and good food at that, skin that regenerates when it is injured, a mind that is able to think and process these words. Gosh, what a depth of blessing!
The other thing that I have realized is that I feel so burdened by people. I have has a chance to pursue so many people over the past five years, and I find myself feeling so very burdened by them, but not in a negative way. By burdened I do not mean that this is a burden to me, I mean that I care so deeply about each one of them that I desire to see them and flourish and want to do whatever it takes to ensure that. But there are so many of these little ones. I love them all and it has become overwhelming to try and pray for and love each of them uniquely, intentionally, individually, and consistently. I just cannot do it, though I do try. Thus is my burden. That I long for each of their souls to know their creator and know Him well, and I want each of them to feel love and live their lives with purpose. The person that I can really empathize with is the apostle Paul who from his writings seemed to feel so burdened for all of the churches that he started and the people therein. I get that now. So many of these little ones I have pursued and met and formed relationships with and care about. It is a beautiful burden.
~Good Luck and Good Eats
