What now?

The time after Christmas but before New Year's always seemed very strange to me. For a month and half everything about our country-economy, popular culture, music, etc-all builds up to one single day. But it is just a day, 24 hours in length, which passes with the same veracity as any other day. Sure it is a special day, filled with children's joy, large portions of food, and seeing people otherwise we would not, but my point is that it is one day, one day. After those 24 hours pass it seems like the only appropriate response when I wake up the next day on the 25th of December, is to say, "What now?" What do we do now? It seems like our country kind of says that as well. There is still another holiday but a week away, and a month and a half of build-up left in 24 hours. I know that now is when God can do the most work in me, now that the massive distraction of the 25th day of december is gone. Of course, what the day represents is so much deeper than what we make it.
I sometimes wonder what December 26th (or the equivalent because there is almost no certainty that the Christ was actually born on December 25th) was like after the savior was born. That had nine months of build-up, more if you factor in Sarah and all of the angelic visitors. And yet it still passes in just 24 hours. How different were the lives of those two people, who had checked into a manger, were after just 24 hours. I wonder if Mary awoke the next morning to the sound of her Lord crying and thought to herself 'What now?' What would she do-with a baby and yet not even married yet? People would still talk; I think so often the courage of Mary is overlooked, everybody knowing that the baby was born outside of marrige.
The reality is, it is not just 24 hours. The difference for Mary between the two days was that her little child, this world's Redeemer, had come, the long-prophesied, long-awaited day had arrived. Surely she asked herself, 'What now?'
Treats of the week: A berry cobbler for Christmas, mint inception cookies, peanut-butter marshmallow chocolate pudding cookies.
Restaurant of the week: Souplantation. Nothing more needs be said.
~Good Luck and Good Eats and a Merry Christmas.

The Little Things

Although I do not profess to be a hardcore fan, as my masculinity would take quite a hit if I did, I do enjoy a few of Colbie Callait's songs. One of them, entitled "The Little Things" begins with the line, "The little things you do to me, are, taking me over, I want to show you..." Combined with a kind melody the song ends up being exactly that-melodious. This post is not really about the song, I just want to give a little bit of a backdrop. I think that we should take Colbie's advice to heart, and let the little, little things that God does take us over, transform us. We, and as an extension I, tend to pray for God to transform us, we pray and hope for large, grand things in the hopes of seeing and experiencing something actually wonderful. However, although there is nothing wrong with praying big and we should never cease in doing so, we often get lost in looking for the magnificent and fail to see how God uses the mundain to transform us. God often repeats exatly the first lines of Colbie's song in our lives, and uses small, seemingly inconsequential things to make us look more like Him. For instance, a few days ago I got an early Christmas present-a new jacket. A new jacket is really nothing at all, now please do not misunderstand me, I am incredibly thankful for a much needed new jacket, I'm just saying that a new jacket is simply that-a mechanism for keeping me warm. The way that God can use something so simple and eternally insignificant is awestriking. As I wear the new jacket I feel more confident, for seemingly no reason. I have not worn a new jacket in nearly two years, and the wearing of a new one helps me feel more like a leader and have more faith in myself, something that I have beem earnestly, humbly praying for. God has been using so simple an item as a new jacket, to transform my view of myself and answer a much-needed prayer. As well, just by bumping into my dear old friend Yassir, the largest man I have ever known, God encourages me. Simply running into this man encourages me while I am away from home, even though we made no further plans to hang out, simply exchanged phone numbers.
All that I am saying by all of this is to encourage you to continue to keep an eye out for the small things, the "little things" that God uses to do big things inside of us. Yes, God uses big things to change us, but be thankful for the little events that God uses, the tiny little things that appear at first so insignificant, but later reveal their true value, inside of our lives. All of it means one very important, very little yet ever so vast statement of truth: God Loves us more than we could ever fully know.
~Good Luck and Good Eats.

Missing

Something's missing. I guess it would be better said that something is missed, or someplace. I miss IV so much it is absurd. I finally now see so much more that IV, SB, Real Life, these are my home. You don't miss someplace as much as I do IV, or people as much as I do the inhabitants, without having an invested part of your life there. My heart is in IV, and that part of it I miss. Yes, I am on Christmas break, seeing people I have not seen in months, years even. I'm seeing friends and family and God is using that to refresh me in new and vibrant ways. I have been having a good deal of fun on break, and have been able to keep myself busy for at least the fist weekend. However, there is still such a strong part of me that wants so badly to be back there, with my community. I wrote a bit about this in "Christmas Sadness", but that was much more anticipatory. This is experiential. God is using the absence of community to break my heart of it all over and again. It's interesting, I have a theory that God sometimes intentionally takes away our blessings and gifts in order to allow us to stop taking them for granted. I think this current lack of community is doing just that for me. Understand, I am far more invested in my community than most others and my heart is broken for it with great intensity every morning when I wake up , but it is still there, I still take it for granted, as I do with many of Christs' wondrous blessings in my life. It's given me new visions for the community and has me stoked on it all over again. I sincerely Love each and every person in this wonderful community. Again, understand that I do not use words lightly. The word wonderful should not be used casually, and I do not do so. I honestly believe that this community is truly, uniquely wonderful. God has thankfully been building my confidence over break, or perhaps showing me confidence that I did not really know was there. I plan to use this and the way that God is teaching me to view myself as a leader, when I go back to continue to pour into this community in new ways, God willing. Like I said, I do not use words lightly. To miss means something so much deeper than how we think of it. I actually miss the community though. I want it back.
Something is missing.
Restaurant of the Week: Del Taco. Taco Bell's cousin, but better, more quality and cheaper.
~Good Luck and Good Eats.

Thursday Post-Concrete Waves

It's dark out here. I used to be a fisherman so I am well aware of what it is like to be out on the waves at night, with no lights in sight. That life seems so far gone; now I am a 'fisher of men' as the teacher called it. All twelve of us are. I'm not sure where He is now. He told us to get into the boat and go on toward the other side. That was last night; it's now nearly dawn. Walking with Him, following Him, has been so different. I used to be a fisherman, trying to catch fish to sell and feed hundreds. A short time ago He used a few fish to feed thousands. Who is this man? We ask ourselves this daily, curious as to who can do such things.
We have been out on this boat all night, the winds making hard to travel. We are all exhausted from the strength it has taken to steady the boat. All around us is nothing, nothing but darkness and ocean all around, in every direction. Wait, what is that?
"John, what is that?" I motion toward the figure, still quite a ways out, but undoubtedly heading for our boat. Instantly a quiet murmur starts among us twelve, oars and sails dropped in favor of anxious gaze. Some say it is Him, others a ghost, all are terrified. I have never seen someone traverse the waves like they are Roman-paved roads.
We cannot see its face, just its shape. The only noise out here is the battering waves and the frightening whispering of twelve men, trying to undertake a task that goes far beyond our lives. Thomas was first to speak something audible.
"It's a ghost!" His deceleration causes a commotion among us all, none quite sure how to react to the news.
"Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." This voice comes from the figure. The voice is somewhat muffled from the waves around me, but that gentleness is unmistakable. The calmness despite utter darkness and terror can only come from Him. A hush has fallen over us, nobody knows whether or not to believe.
"Lord, if it's you, tell me to come to you on the water." My mouth shapes the words, but this cannot just be my spirit speaking.
"Come," is His one-word response, an invitation to get out of the boat and walk to Him. All of the others' eyes are fixed on me, waiting to see if I have the faith to obey the Teacher. Hands shaking, I grab the edge of the boat, I climb down and onto the water, and miraculously do not sink! I start to walk, cautiously towards Him, not knowing how this is even possible. I take one step, then another, the waves are like concrete. Suddenly, the waves catch my attention, I see them crashing against the boat, and just a few feet shy of the Teacher, I take my eyes off of Him. I start to sink as I feel the icy liquid beginning to traverse my body. I do the only thing I can think of and call to Him.
"Lord, save me!" He grabs my hand, and lifts me out of the water, helping me back to the boat. I don't know what to say, I cannot even look at Him now. Then He speaks.
"You of little faith, why did you doubt?" His words are demanding, yet forgiving. Thought-provoking, yet not condemning. As we climb into the boat the winds die, the others worship Him. I look, not wanting to face the Teacher, or the others. He touches my back. With one touch I feel forgiveness, I know that He will not send me away from this. All I can do is fall on my knees with the others, in tears, and try and hash out some praise, to the only one, who is Worthy.

Christmas Sadness and Weakness, Again

I have a case of Christmas sadness. Not that I am sad about Christmas itself, quite the contrary-this Christmas has much to look forward to for me, what with the NBA starting, Bad Blake Banging on people, all that aside from seeing three brothers and two nieces that I have not seen in a year (since last Christmas break to be exact), and having lots of time to devote to prayer and time spent with my father. All of that leads me to desire Christmas very much to be hear tomorrow. However, the sadness that comes with Christmas, perhaps sadness is not as good of a word as say, anxiousness, comes with leaving this place. Call me crazy, but I love going to school here, living so closely with a loving community, being able to grow, and get a better idea of what it looks like to live out my faith. Whenever there is a break, as I stated when Thanksgiving break came around, I actually end up dreading everyone leaving Santa Barbara. This place is my home, and where I feel God, and have experienced the most growth with Him. I always miss my community so much, and I feel out of place back in the valley-my heart is in the coast lands.
That being said, despite all of my weaknesses, my anxiousness, my impatience, my lack of faith, my ignorance, all of it allows my God to receive more glory, and do so to the utmost. I therefore, find myself currently with a Paulian attitude, thanking God for my weaknesses. Although I do wish they were strengths, I honestly thank God for my weakness, for all of those areas that still beckon me to grow. I realize now that anyway that I can give my savior more glory, even if only in my own eyes, is an area I should be thankful for. I am just so thankful that next quarter features so many unknowns, and I currently find myself like Peter, in the middle of the ocean in a boat, his Lord calling him to step out of it. I have to get out of the boat, excited yet frightened, all the while keeping my focus on the King and not on the waves. When I do this, the waves will become like concrete and I will be able to stand up under them. Until then, God's glory and perfection will fill in all of the little gaps that my weaknesses leave.
IV Peep of the week: The group of people that I was able to scare, accidently, just by moving. The girl ran off screaming, thinking I was a ghost or something.
Restaurant of the week: South Coast Deli (IV). Although I think they are overpriced, if you do get a sandwich, they are quite good. No complaining about the taste here.
Treats of the week: A berry-biscuit cobbler, a peach cobbler, and I think that about rounds out this week's treats.
~Good Luck and Good Eats.

Worship

What do I do when my mouth runs dry,
when the sounds coming out of my mouth commonly called 'words' cease to be sufficient?
What do I do when I am unable to even spit the words of praise out of my mouth?
I stand there, a grown man, overwhelmed by His amazing Love for me,
trying to sing, to scream, to somehow speak the phrases, "How He Loves us", "He is Jealous for me", and all the others that have such power,
when all I can do is just
weep,
bitterly.
Led by the spirit, I find myself shaking,
utterly unable to hold in the intense emotions,
I let it go, weeping, crying, laughing from pure joy,
all at once, when suddenly it hits me,
somehow,
though I feel like I cannot control myself,
though this is a man standing with emotions rushing through his heart,
though those around me probably feel uncomfortable,
though everyone in the room is ringing with praise for Him,
though I am racked with
sin,
He somehow, somehow, looks at me
and smiles.