It's dark out here. I used to be a fisherman so I am well aware of what it is like to be out on the waves at night, with no lights in sight. That life seems so far gone; now I am a 'fisher of men' as the teacher called it. All twelve of us are. I'm not sure where He is now. He told us to get into the boat and go on toward the other side. That was last night; it's now nearly dawn. Walking with Him, following Him, has been so different. I used to be a fisherman, trying to catch fish to sell and feed hundreds. A short time ago He used a few fish to feed thousands. Who is this man? We ask ourselves this daily, curious as to who can do such things.
We have been out on this boat all night, the winds making hard to travel. We are all exhausted from the strength it has taken to steady the boat. All around us is nothing, nothing but darkness and ocean all around, in every direction. Wait, what is that?
"John, what is that?" I motion toward the figure, still quite a ways out, but undoubtedly heading for our boat. Instantly a quiet murmur starts among us twelve, oars and sails dropped in favor of anxious gaze. Some say it is Him, others a ghost, all are terrified. I have never seen someone traverse the waves like they are Roman-paved roads.
We cannot see its face, just its shape. The only noise out here is the battering waves and the frightening whispering of twelve men, trying to undertake a task that goes far beyond our lives. Thomas was first to speak something audible.
"It's a ghost!" His deceleration causes a commotion among us all, none quite sure how to react to the news.
"Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." This voice comes from the figure. The voice is somewhat muffled from the waves around me, but that gentleness is unmistakable. The calmness despite utter darkness and terror can only come from Him. A hush has fallen over us, nobody knows whether or not to believe.
"Lord, if it's you, tell me to come to you on the water." My mouth shapes the words, but this cannot just be my spirit speaking.
"Come," is His one-word response, an invitation to get out of the boat and walk to Him. All of the others' eyes are fixed on me, waiting to see if I have the faith to obey the Teacher. Hands shaking, I grab the edge of the boat, I climb down and onto the water, and miraculously do not sink! I start to walk, cautiously towards Him, not knowing how this is even possible. I take one step, then another, the waves are like concrete. Suddenly, the waves catch my attention, I see them crashing against the boat, and just a few feet shy of the Teacher, I take my eyes off of Him. I start to sink as I feel the icy liquid beginning to traverse my body. I do the only thing I can think of and call to Him.
"Lord, save me!" He grabs my hand, and lifts me out of the water, helping me back to the boat. I don't know what to say, I cannot even look at Him now. Then He speaks.
"You of little faith, why did you doubt?" His words are demanding, yet forgiving. Thought-provoking, yet not condemning. As we climb into the boat the winds die, the others worship Him. I look, not wanting to face the Teacher, or the others. He touches my back. With one touch I feel forgiveness, I know that He will not send me away from this. All I can do is fall on my knees with the others, in tears, and try and hash out some praise, to the only one, who is Worthy.
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