True Pain, True Joy, True Community

I was going to write this entry on guilt, but there are more pressing things to write on. Anyways, I heard someone once call IV a community, the community of isla vista. Let's get one thing straight, IV is not a community. It is a group of houses, housing residents who are tied together geographically and by the fact that they are all students, little else binds them. There is no family atmosphere or attitude, even among some housemates. Community is different. Noticing someone in class that you had shots with two saturdays ago does not designate a community. That's what makes Isla Vista so strange, it has such great potential to be a mighty community, yet it does not live up to that potential. Yeah sure, glimpses are seen here and there. My roommate going out and getting dinner from me when I could hardly walk was very communityesque. I guess that is why they do not call ucsb a community college, it really is not located by a community, just by a place where people happen to live.
On the other hand, I saw true community this week. It peeked its head and lingered for just a bit, but got me excited nonetheless. After playing basketball yesterday I twisted my ankle bad. I was with some of the guys that I really love, and they made sure that I was well taken care of. We went to blender's afterwards and I paid for people, and one guy gave me support money. All this helping each other out and leaning on each other really opened my eyes to the community that we have become. It's pretty crazy, but I took a glimpse of real, true community this week, and it is not often that I can say that. It was this reality of brothers selflessly helping each other that spoke to me of community, true community.
I experienced two other true things this past week: true pain, and true joy. Like I said, I twisted my ankle bad yesterday and it swelled up so much that it looked comical. So much so that I could not look at it without laughing. I was in immense pain, yet had so much joy at the same time. I can only attribute Jesus for that. His residing in me just provides me with so much joy. It was the strangest thing ever, experiencing both true, genuine pain and yet true, genuine joy at the same time. That's what isla visa chocolate is all about.
Restaurant of the week: It's a two-fer this week bringing you both Lily's tacos on state street and woody's bbq.
IV peep of the week: I saw an Asian guy on the bluffs above the beach playing a harmonica, all by himself. A humorous sight no doubt.
Treats of the week: Chocolate peanut-butter cream cheese bars, cheesecake chocolate chip cookie bars, strawberry milk chippers, and oreo cheesecake cookies. Mmmmm.
Good Luck and Good Eats
~Cody

Wednesday Post-Jamaican me Thankful

I do not know why I am posting on a wednesday, but whatevs. This is just something that I wanted to share, but forgot to on monday. Sometimes we are not thankful; I say we because I want to include myself in that. Sometimes we need to be made to be thankful for the innumerable blessings that God has given us. We have had mandatory power outages on my street a few times in the past couple of weeks. God's little way of riding me of distractions I suppose. But it has helped me to be more thankful of electricity once it has returned. I guess that I did not realize how much of an electricity-dependent society we live in. As well, last week, my laptop charger stopped working randomly, and I was not able to go and purchase a new one until friday. All week I was without a laptop, and when I finally was able to charge my laptop once again on friday, I noticed a strange phenomenon: I was extremely thankful for it. I think that I had begun to take it for granted, but I definitely am not doing so now. It was God's way of making me thankful, more so than I have been since I first got a laptop to call my own, that I have my own personal computer and how much of a blessing that that is. I had simply been habituated into thinking that this is just how life is, that everyone has a laptop. It took not really having one for a week for there to be literally a physical, noticeable difference in my attitude. Now, I am so very very grateful for this wonderful blessing that God has seen fit, in all of His Majesty, to bless me with.
Where does that leave me now? Dwelling in God's peace and perfect plan for my life and in utter gratitude of what He has done for me. Following this trend, I am also really sick right now, and although I do not know why, I can presume that it is to make me more thankful for the wonderful health that I apparently had begun to take for granted. I get sick and my health is taken from me and suddenly I get better and am dwelling in thankfulness of the good health that God has given me. No matter the case, I am a blessed man, that is for certain, and am trying to thank God daily for that wondrous blessing that I see all around me.
Good Luck and Good Eats
~Cody

End of the Year and Stuff

My second year is almost done. Two more weeks and IV chocolate becomes santa monica chocolate. You can tell this year is coming to a close: a lot of professors start talking about finals, and friends go from talking about what they are doing to what they have done. Talk of summer school and lease start/end dates have heated up immensely. A common question is now frequently rings, "Are you going to be here for summer?" Honestly, although IV anxiously awaits summer when the population decreases yet the sin stays the same, I really wish that this year would not be coming to an end. I Loved this year and grew more as a man and a person than I have ever before during this school year. IV has been torn up, physically during this school year, the construction ravaging several streets and IV landmarks. It seems like both myself and IV have been going through some changes this year. That is why I am so interested to see where IV will go after this year, in what direction IV will take. See which businesses last past the summer, and if any die out in the aftermath of so many residents leaving for summer. As well, it is interesting what my outlook will be when I get back. By the time I arrive back here in August or September, I will have lived in at least two other cities, and will be living in a different location in this wonderful, unique community. People's perspectives change as their locations change and I know that in going to Santa Monica and going back to Monrovia/Glendora, my outlook on things will change, just as living here for the past nine months has changed how I look at a lot of things. As well, I am very anxious to see how other people change in coming back after summer. Quite a few people I know changed a lot from last year to this, and now I know not to expect people to be or act the same as they have this year. Hopefully people do not change too drastically, but I will surely see. So many things God has taught me this year and so many things I am utterly stoked for next year, especially just how my life will grow generally next year. I'll definitely keep spitting out weekly Isla Vista Chocolates.
IV peep of the week: This has to go to the group of like 30 people getting on Bill's Bus on a sunday night, all dressed in halloween costumes. It was not halloween.
Treats of the week: A quiet baking week for me, just made smore's globs on tuesday and double chocolate double oreo crunch cookies on saturday. I also made homemade meatball subs and jelpeno poppers however.
Good Luck and Good Eats
~Cody

Sunday Post-Perfume and Tears

I am a sinful woman; there is no truth truer than that. I have done things most people would not speak of, would not even think of. I cannot blame anyone, not my parents, certainly not God. It is my fault, the result of my own disgusting, detestable nature. I wish it were different, I am jealous of righteous people and that only adds to my own sin. Feeling like this, there is no way out, no way to begin the healing process. Except of course, for the Teacher.
He's been called the Teacher and the Healer, and so much else. The rumors about Him are endless, and He is in my town today. I have to go, I have to weep at his feet and maybe then He will have compassion. I have a jar of perfume that one of my suitors bought for me. If just maybe I pour that over Him, maybe He will forgive me. Everybody talks about Him forgiving sins, or at least claiming to. Even a claim is what I need, some shred of hope to cling on to for dear life.
I am arriving at Simon's house now. I have been told this is where He is reclining for the evening. I told someone about how I have planned to weep over His feet and they laughed at me for it. But I know it'll be different. Everybody, even the Teacher needs to be anointed with oil, according to the law.
I walk in and see Him and I just cannot contain myself. I just start weeping, weeping at my own sin, my own depravity, weeping because of how perfect He is. I take my tears to His feet, weeping and kissing them. They become drenched in from my many salty tears, and I open the perfume and pour it all over His feet, clutching them and crying. I hear shouts, of religious leaders and important men telling me to stop. Then He spoke up.
"Simon I have something to tell you. "Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?" Simon answered logically, saying the one with the bigger debt. The Teacher reveals that Simon answered correctly, and then He turns towards me.
"You see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. I tell you her many sins have been forgiven, for she has loved much, but he who has been forgiven little loves little." He said those words, those words that I had come here to hear, telling me that my sins have been forgiven, and that just makes me weep more, only this time they are tears of joy. I am so overjoyed that He took the time to forgive me despite my extreme wretchedness, like nobody else would. Then He spoke again.
"Your faith has saved you; go in peace." My mind remained on that last word, like a lion lingers around its prey. Peace, that feeling that I have been missing for so long. That feeling that no matter what, I have a new, clean slate. I have been forgiven, all of my disgusting sin washed clean. The guilt I feel is gone. I have been redeemed.
I must go tell people. You must go tell people!

What time is it?

It's a Tuesday post again, but it's been a busy week, so do not hold me to blame. This post is about time, and what time we orient ourselves to. Not a specific time per say, more of a type of time-past, present, or future. I think that IV is highly future-oriented. The very reason that people are in IV is for the future, they're going to get a degree. People go to class because they are future oriented. They're also future oriented in the short term generally, always looking forward to next weekend, or the next time they have something fun to do to relieve them of the stress of school. Some people are past-oriented, going home a lot on the weekends, unable to move past the friends and experiences of their youth. An equal balance is healthy indeed. To not look too much into the future or past, although those are healthy parts, as explained later, but also to dwell in the present as much as is necessary. I would say that that is where most IV residents are lacking in this regard, dwelling in the present. They are too past or future oriented to enjoy what God has given them in the present. IV would benefit from counting its blessings.
On the other hand, I am way too present-focused. I am not enough focused on the past, and have a tendency to lose touch with my past, and I am not future-focused enough and it causes me to often not accomplish goals on time. Because I like to take life slow; I believe that life is in the small moments. That is what God has showed me this past week. Life is in cooking bacon, life is in feeling light-headed, life is in time spent with God late at night at the beach, life is turning down going to in-n-out to spend time with God, life is in the lakers getting trounced, life is in time spent with people, life is in getting the midterm back with a b on it, life is in getting the midterm back with a d on it, life is in working up the nervous courage to ask a girl out, life is in getting rejected. My point is not to be too future or past centered, but not to leave those out as well. But enjoy the life moments that God gives you. Life is lives in the little moments.
IV peep of the week: this goes as a shout out to the older community in IV. I saw an older black man on a mo-ped, clearly not all there, ask an older white man, clearly homeless, if he needed a ride, then calmly say, nevermind, you do not have a helmet, my mistake. The older white man said, but I do have a helmet (he didn't) and proceeded to chase after the mo-peded black gentleman.
Restaurant of the week: Rosarritos. Cheap burrito specials that come with chips. Rare but delicious in IV.
Treats of the week: Let's see, made another batch of pumpkin spice and everything nice cookies, made chocolate peppermint bark and triple layer cookies and cream bark, bacon rings, bacon chocolate cake, and bacon mac and cheese pie, made cornbread. I think that's about it.
Good Luck and Good Eats
~Cody

A Reversal of Fortune

As stated last week, IV is a very consistent place. It is one of the few places that is not in the least socially mobile. Although some people leave mid year, most of the time people stay where they are throughout the year and especially socio-economically. The college students stay as college students, the homeless people will stay as homeless people, etc, etc. And although institutions have a tendency to come and go, they do stay for a little while, and those restaurant owners stay as restaurant owners. AS well, although people do meet other people consistently, (at class, clubs, parties), people generally stay within their own social strata and do not hang out much with other people, even if they do meet them. That is more of a humanity problem then an IV problem, but many IV problems and advantageous are representative of problems in society. People generally are just quite apathetic and lazy enough to not branch out and meet people, even though IV is positively conducive to it.
On the other hand, every single person I meet I just want to get to know very well. I cannot quite pin-point exactly why, although I do know that it has much to do with God's perfect Love transforming me, but I definitely just love people a lot. Those that I know, and those that I am yet to meet, I just want to get to know the ins and outs of everybody. Even you, reader, I want to get to know you very well. I had lunch with someone on Friday, getting to know each other better. I've been doing it all year, and it is a trend that I really hope to continue. I have made appointments to meet with people and get to know them, and it will definitely be something that I strive for. Please, if you are reading this, let's hang out and get to know each other better.
IV Peep of the week: Talking to a friend on DP while a guy who was completely naked ran by. When I saw that, this was no contest.
Treats of the week: Even though I didn't want to bake as much this week, that didn't hold. Made chocolate and peanut butter haystacks, peanut butter brownies, cupcakes with cookie dough and hershey's kisses, homemade chicken enchiladas, pumpkin spice and everything nice cookies, a pair of fruit cobblers, and banana chocolate chip muffins. Mmmmmm.
Good Luck and Good Eats
~Cody

Thursday Post-Bleeding

This bleeding is unbearable. It has been for the twelve years that it has so afflicted me. It tears at me both literally and figuratively. I have spent all of my money, my parents money, my brothers' money, trying desperately to find a cure, and yet the bleeding has only gotten worse. I spent all of their money and now I feel as much like of a burdensome nuisance as I do an outcast. I can't work because of my uncleanliness. What's worse than that and the pain that accompanies it is the judgement that people heap on me. I hear them in the synagogues and the market place. "Look at her. She is an adulteress, she is a sinner!" "She is deserving of her affliction!" None of them are true, but that one hurts the most.
I hope today will be different. Today I am going to see the teacher, the healer. I am wearing a cloak so that neither He nor anyone else will see me. So for once maybe I will be able to speak with someone without being judged. If He really can heal me I must touch Him. I've heard the stories from people. Despite how people treat me I have still heard the stories, about Him healing cripples, and blind men, and casting out demons. Surely if He can do all that he can heal me too. What's more, maybe He can tell me why this is happening to me.
But I will not be allowed near Him. I'm not allowed near anyone ever since the sores appeared. I see only lepers and other sick people all day. But I will wear my cloak, cover my face. Maybe if I can just touch Him, just touch His cloak, maybe then I will be healed.
I make my way through the crowd, being careful not to touch anyone, I am far too dirty and shameful. I have heard that the Teacher treats people differently. My mother told me to come here, noting his compassion that is so different. Finally I get up to him; never have I been so nervous to touch cloth. But this cloth represents so much more: freedom from my bondage, a way out, a new life. I am behind Him, so he will not see my face, or my sores. I reach out for him, my feeble hand barely brushing by his cloak, and I waste no time quickly receding into the crowd.
Something is different, I feel...free. I did not think that it would be this immediate, I thought that it would take time. But I feel something supernatural has taken place inside of me. What they say about Him must be true, for I do not know how i know, but my bleeding has stopped. Twelve long years of constant shame an feeling so broken, and now all of it is gone. It is more than that though, I have been transformed.
My celebration is short lived. "Who touched my clothes?" He seems mad, but maybe if I just hide He won't suspect me. One of his close friends, something I desire ever so much, friendship, asks Him, "There are so many people crowding around you, and yet you can say 'who touched me?'" I hoped that that would stop His search, but He keeps looking for who it was. The guilt is eating at me, maybe He will be as compassionate as He is powerful. I have to come forth, but I am oh so scared. They still see me as unclean. What will they do? What will He do?
As I approach I realize what I have done and who this Teacher is. I cannot help but fall to the ground, fall to His feet, trembling. I tell him everything, too much of everything, including the twelve year history, although He listens as if He already knows. I beg for His mercy, telling Him that if it is any consolation, I have been healed.
"Daughter," He begins. Such a word to hear, as my parents had outcasted me when the bleeding started. "Your faith has made you well. Go in Peace and be freed from suffering." Such kind words, such compassion, such absence of wrath. And in front of all these people too. They will see me as clean now, I can finally have touch again. He has done it all, freed me, made me new, transformed me. I am so thankful to Him and to God. I must go tell people. You must go tell people!

Real World: Isla Vista

I think that Isla Vista would make a great reality tv show. You would have it all, drunkards, belligerents, love interests, douches, bros, etc. This last weekend was IV pride weekend. I did not go to any of the events (chilla vista, the really really free market, etc.), although I think by writing a blog about living in IV with IV in the title, I already have more pride than most people. I've thought a lot about IV this week past and about what it means. I think that the greatest thing about IV is the consistency. People generally desire consistency, and I know of nobody who prays for inconsistency. That being said, on a week-to-week basis, you can generally pick out what you are going to get from IV: stunningly gorgeous weather, studying/tanning on the weekdays, and enjoying the weekends, thrown together with lots of food and camaraderie; Isla Vista weeks rarely, if ever, deviate from this path. It's a nice trend in a world where few people, events, things, or circumstances are that consistent. It's one of the many things that are so beautiful about IV.
On the other hand, the people in IV are generally inconsistent. I've begun to notice that people in general that are here are inconsistent, with their affections, their love, just their lives in general. It's a very much bit irritating the way that people have short memories in regards to relationships and it really screws with my mind sometimes. For instance, I've begun to notice that people speak with me about baking so much, that's all they talk with me about. Forget our great memories and all of the times that we have had, instead it is just cookies this and muffins that. People are inconsistent, at times we are best friends and they love, at times they forget who I even am. It plays tricks on my mind, I'll say that much, and it is a part of life that I will have to learn to live with I guess. I just wish that my friends and the people I love would be as consistent as the place I Live. That would be the best birthday present ever.
IV Peep of the week: This is a joint award this week, given to the guys on their balcony yelling at a girl that they would give her forty dollars to make out with another guy there. It is something rarely seen outside of college towns.
Treats of the week: I'm pretty sure I baked more last week then most people do in a year. Tuesday I made butterscotch haystacks, wednesday featured the return of my peaches and cream muffins, and this last weekend saw homemade lasagna and garlic bread, peach cobbler, oreo cheesecake cookies, sorority girl cookies, banana chocolate-chip muffins, death by chocolate muffins, another batch of butterscotch haystacks, chocolate peanut butter haystacks, mini-cinnamon rolls, and peanut butter fudge brownies today. Wheh, did you get all that? Good, so don't mention it anymore.
Good Luck and Good Eats
~Cody