I am a sinful woman; there is no truth truer than that. I have done things most people would not speak of, would not even think of. I cannot blame anyone, not my parents, certainly not God. It is my fault, the result of my own disgusting, detestable nature. I wish it were different, I am jealous of righteous people and that only adds to my own sin. Feeling like this, there is no way out, no way to begin the healing process. Except of course, for the Teacher.
He's been called the Teacher and the Healer, and so much else. The rumors about Him are endless, and He is in my town today. I have to go, I have to weep at his feet and maybe then He will have compassion. I have a jar of perfume that one of my suitors bought for me. If just maybe I pour that over Him, maybe He will forgive me. Everybody talks about Him forgiving sins, or at least claiming to. Even a claim is what I need, some shred of hope to cling on to for dear life.
I am arriving at Simon's house now. I have been told this is where He is reclining for the evening. I told someone about how I have planned to weep over His feet and they laughed at me for it. But I know it'll be different. Everybody, even the Teacher needs to be anointed with oil, according to the law.
I walk in and see Him and I just cannot contain myself. I just start weeping, weeping at my own sin, my own depravity, weeping because of how perfect He is. I take my tears to His feet, weeping and kissing them. They become drenched in from my many salty tears, and I open the perfume and pour it all over His feet, clutching them and crying. I hear shouts, of religious leaders and important men telling me to stop. Then He spoke up.
"Simon I have something to tell you. "Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?" Simon answered logically, saying the one with the bigger debt. The Teacher reveals that Simon answered correctly, and then He turns towards me.
"You see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. I tell you her many sins have been forgiven, for she has loved much, but he who has been forgiven little loves little." He said those words, those words that I had come here to hear, telling me that my sins have been forgiven, and that just makes me weep more, only this time they are tears of joy. I am so overjoyed that He took the time to forgive me despite my extreme wretchedness, like nobody else would. Then He spoke again.
"Your faith has saved you; go in peace." My mind remained on that last word, like a lion lingers around its prey. Peace, that feeling that I have been missing for so long. That feeling that no matter what, I have a new, clean slate. I have been forgiven, all of my disgusting sin washed clean. The guilt I feel is gone. I have been redeemed.
I must go tell people. You must go tell people!
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