I apologize in advance for the title of this post-it may lead you to believe that I have an answer to this question. I can firmly tell you that I do not. What happened last night in Orlando, FL (the worst shooting in American history, which is saying something, at a gay nightclub in which 50 people died and more were injured) is an abomination, but unfortunately and with great sadness, not uncommon. True, we have never seen anything on that scale but mass shootings in this country and this broken world happen all too frequently, and every time that they do I find myself faced with the same question-how do you mourn? If you are of the family members of those who were lost, how do you handle it? Can you possibly take the condolences and the prayers and the nice-sounding words and sentiments and internalize them and squeeze some hope out of them? It does not alleviate the reality. It does not change the fact that love has been taken away, at some level. Tragedy. How does anybody possibly deal with it.
I am not here to offer a solution. True, I have lived through a tragedy (The Isla Vista shooting of 2014 in which more than 5 were killed and more injured) and I saw a community mourn and advance from that. But even in that, I have no solace to offer because I do believe that it differs in any and every situation. As a religious man I can point to a God who has things under control despite the chaos and who will ultimately work things in this hurting world out, but that might mean nothing to you. As somebody who believes staunchly in the power of community I can point to how communities and countries come together during tragedy, but that also might not do much for you. And if they do not, that's fine. I offer nothing.
But I offer everything. I will listen to anybody who has gone through some thing of that nature. I will sit with them in silence if they need be; I will hug and not let go for as long as it takes. We need to rethink things in this country, not just gun laws, but our own hearts. What a year it has been between the biggest mockery of an election to a litany of gun violence to intense racial tension. We need to examine the values of our culture and its current trajectory and ask ourselves difficult questions about where our hearts are at. And then make necessary changes. Discussion will go on for a week or two about this and then sadly something will come along to take it all out of our minds. We cannot let them happen. But these are lofty goals that it takes lifetimes and generations to accomplish. In the meantime, it is imperative that we treat each other with humanity-that we try to understand not just the plight of those afflicted, but the plight of any who have less. We need to love each other well. If you believe in prayer, actually pray, with all of the fervency and zeal with which you pray for your most passionate requests. If you believe in the power of hope and love then hope, and love.
These all sound like concepts, and we must begin with those. But sit with each other. Do not be afraid of awkwardness or of intimacy extended to those who have lost. Empathize and take some time out of your schedule to think deeply of those around you who are suffering every day. There is no easy solution, no simple explanation of extremely complex and intricate problems and tragedies. But there are steps. There are ways to be with people in the hope that if nothing else, presence, will make pain more bearable. And that is what we have to hope for-not to take pain away, because pain of loss is permanent. But to lessen, to bring joy and laughter back, to help people move on, but at their own time. Think well and be considerate. Nobody is evil, just deeply hurting.
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