Good Friday Post-Peter

What went through your head, Peter? What did you think when the Teacher told you that you would deny him three times? Did you scoff? Did you laugh? Surely you thought this was another parable or that He was once again not speaking straightforwardly.
What did you think as they dragged him off? What thoughts went through your head as you saw the ear of the high priest's servant fall to the ground by your sword, and promptly get reattached? What could you think as they dragged him off? Did you talk with John about what was happening, or any of the others? Did you judge Judas, mocking him on the inside as he cursed himself?
What did you think, Peter, when that servant girl questioned you, when she asked you if you were with Him? Did you give it a second thought? Were you confused by the commotion? Did you fear death? What thought did you think when that rooster crowed the first time, giving you fair warning? And how much did you hate yourself after it crowed a second? After following the King of Kings for three years, seeing the deafs' hearing restored and seeing dead men walk, hearing all that he said and personally seeing His Love displayed, even seeing him transfigured, after it all, how much did you hate yourself? How big was the pile of tears afterward?
What went through your head, Peter, as He was crushed? Did you understand that He did it for you, for Judas, for me? Did you understand that He could have come down? Did you feel disheartened? Broken? Guilty? Shameful? Did you feel like turning your face, like not looking because of what had just happened? How worthless did you feel, Peter, as you looked at that crown of thorns, on the head of the man whom you had just denied three times?
Peter, what did you feel on Saturday? Was the world crumbling down on you? Did you mourn? Surely you wept. Did you speak with anyone, or did you feel far too shameful? Did you understand the gravity of the previous night's events? Were you mad at Jesus? At Ciaphas? At God? At yourself? How did you sleep that night? Did you walk by the sea and look at your old boat, wondering if it was all worth it? Did you think He would return? Did you feel abandoned by the Healer? By yourself?
When you saw His face the next day Peter, when you saw the holes in His flesh, did you see forgiveness? Did you weep at His feet? Did He lift you up gently? Did your heart sink when you saw Him, not yet having a complete understanding of forgiveness, grace? Did He tell you why He did it, or did you figure it out? Did you still feel guilty, or did His perfect Grace overwhelm you? Did you finally realize how God sees you? Did you understand what all the weekend meant? Did you realize just how sinful you are, that you are no better than Judas, than Ciaphas? But did you see the face of Grace and understand that it is finished? That sin has been defeated and death conquered? Did you finally understand that God freed you and Loves you unconditionally, and that you are now identified with Him and not with your filthy sin, and that you have been given a new life, a second chance, a robe of righteousness, a suit of armor, even though you are so totally undeserving and did nothing to earn it?
Did you feel this way, after you betrayed the one who so Loved you? Because if you did, we have something in common.
~Cody