23

I turn 23 today. I remind of this not to be celebrated, but to increase the ethos of the post that I am about to write and to give myself reason to pause and consider what I have learned over the past 12 months. I have made so many mistakes in that time-too many to count or name, really. But, I am so thankful that I have a King, a Father, who uses my mistakes, though they be many, to make me into that which He has already declared me to be (righteous). So, over the past 12 months, I have learned much, struggled, laughed-hard, thought thoughts that led to more thoughts to the point that I lost track of myself, cooked great food, started two jobs and quit one, and hopefully most of all, loved. So, please allow me take a moment to share what I have learned throughout the past year.
-I understand women less now than ever before. Understand what I mean by that: I mean that I can predict their actions, but only by predicting the most illogical course of undertaking, and to me, that makes no sense.
-God uses all of my mistakes. It is only I who makes them, but God uses each and every one of them, as said above. I reiterate this because if it were not true, I would have wasted so much of my past year.
-I am and will only be in more increasing measure as my life goes on, entirely frustrated with life's trivialities. Small talk, petty disagreements, bad food, complaints, poor stimuli-all of it is very frustrating to me and something that I merely tolerate, or at times outright disregard.
-I live like royalty, especially from the perspective of anyone born before 1950, outside of America. I have access to so much, and from those whom have been given much, much will be expected.
-Living like Jesus is hard, and it requires a lifetime to understand really what that means. It is complicated, yet simple, hard, yet easy, uncomfortable, yet enjoyable, restricting, yet freeing. It is something that requires action, choice, belief, and faith all in one. I have a responsibility to those who are the least.
-I live in a culture that is poisonous because it streams sex and violence to us in large quantities constantly. I and my fellow Americans, especially Californians, are given sex and violence so much that we have become desensitized to the perversion of it all. It is difficult and I desire that God purge me of the evil that media and culture have done to me.
-I think (most) people in general do not value each other really. They take relationships for granted, and I have come to notice even as I sit and toil, trying to develop quality relationships, more often than not people are content to pursue and invest in entirely those people whom it is easiest to do so in.
-Social stigmas are one of the ugliest facets of our culture. We have come up with loaded terms which we use to utterly dehumanize and devalue people. It is quite disgusting to me.
-Money is a merely instrumental good, nothing more. It's alluring offer of security, comfort, and joy is empty and it is only a stepping stone to further develop eternal things.
-Human relationships are of vital importance, but come up short when compared to the importance of a divine romance.
-People will show you that they love you in at times very small, insignificant ways. It is worthwhile to be able to ingest these and understand the intent behind them.
-I have many quality relationships in my life.
-My oft struggle to feel emotions is going to be a much longer and more difficult struggle than I though originally.
-Not having insecurities and living life to its most honest degree will inevitably lead to hurt.
-Everything, all of my motivations, my thoughts, my actions, my words, my desires, my values, if not wrapped up in Jesus, are not worth it. He must guide my thoughts for all good in me comes from Him and all evil within me comes from myself.
And finally,
-I am an extremely broken, imperfect person. I am so far from perfection and I am not the Loving, humble, gentle, passionate, intense, honest, pure, caring, kind, servant that I wish that I was and that I pray that I become. I at times neglect responsibilities or view them ambivalently and I am very aware of my own selfishness and how deep it is. I am so thankful that I have a Father who works these things out of me and forgives me in my weakness. "Lord Jesus, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner."
So, that about sums up the lessons I have taken away from the past 12 months. Do not get me wrong, there are many more, but these will suffice for now. I hope that there is something that sparks your interest here or at least gets you thinking.
~Good Luck and Good Eats