Terrifying Devotion

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." If this is at all true, then the shepherds at the beginning of Luke had at least the stepping stones of wisdom. The glory of the Lord shone around them and they were terrified. And really, that makes sense if you take God at His word, for who He is. God is terrifying, and I do not apologize if that is not how you think about God. Because if it is not, then you have an incorrect view of God. I think Leonard Ravenhill gets something right when he speaks on this:
"Listen, when you see Jesus, you’re not going to go up and say “Hey buddy, I’m glad You died for me.” When you see Jesus you will be almost paralyzed with fear unless you have a glorified body and a glorified mind."
And this is something that I have realized so palpably lately. There's a lot that has been on my mind, believe me, and thus there will likely be a lot of blog posts to come, but this one is on devotion. I just have to set it up with the fact that God is terrifying. Even angels, when seen in scripture, are terrifying and have to assure people not to be afraid. How much more so would God just make you shudder in fear of who He is? The greatest thing is that we have no need to fear anything else as long as we are with God, but God is frightening.
However, another thing that I have come to realize is that my faith is pathetic, utterly, laughably pathetic. I profess to follow God and yet so often I do things that I have not earned the right to do. I have not lived a perfect life, no my life has been grossly imperfect. Therefore, I am in debt. The scandal of grace that somehow my debt has been paid, but I have to understand that until I have lived an utterly perfect, flawless life, which I have already squandered the opportunity to do, I have no right but to live every moment in sheer devotion to the one who saved me; I must die to myself that He may be lifted higher, every second of my day, my life, giving up things that I love and long for so that He may be lifted higher. If that does not sit well with you, check your heart, that you understand what you have been saved from, the depths of depravity that you are, you redeemed sinner.
As I sit here now writing this, I quake at the thought of what my life looks like. Would somebody be able to boldly, confidently proclaim that I love Christ by looking at my life? Sadly, I am not sure, but I am frightened of the presence of this God. I think that is a good place to start.
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom."