Desiring Painful Confidence

I am writing this blog about confidence, but not confidence as you probably are thinking of it. I'm not talking about self-confidence which is what we typically refer to when we say confidence, but rather someone confiding in you, someone coming to you with something that they cannot come to other people with and you becoming their confidant. That is the confidence that I will be talking about in this post, just to preface.
This is the type of confidence that I desire; I desire to be the confidant of all. For some reason, I just want people to feel like they can come to me with any and everything and know that I am here, know that I will not judge, know that I am here to listen and show grace. I desire it to an unhealthy point, to the point even of jealousy, wherein I get jealous when people tell others secrets or struggles. I shouldn't, but I do. It's a strange dichotomy too, because when people tell me their struggles I am such a compassionate person that I get sad for them and my heart breaks for them. So, in a way, I desire a large volume of things that I know will hurt me, make me sad for others, but I want to be sad with them.
This is so evident here on summer project. So many people struggle with little things here and there, and I find myself prodding and poking to be able to find out what. So many people have so much that they need to get off their chests, and I just long to be the one that they share it with, every time. I don't know why, maybe it is a way that I feel Loved. It always comes back to Love. Maybe I just want to get to know people so well and this is a way to feel undoubtedly closer with them. Still trying to process if it is healthy or not, in its totality. For whatever the reason and however detrimental to m well-being the fact remains that I desire this painful confidence with a strong, fierce desire. Let's go hang out.
Good Luck and Good Eats
~Cody