A Selfish, Lying, Jealous, Murderous, Adulterous, Gluttonous, Thief

It has been a week and half in Santa Monica, and the biggest thing that I have learned is that I am a selfish, lying, jealous, murderous, adulterous, gluttonous, thief. God has shown me so many sins that have been lurking in my life that I did not know existed. I have seen the patches of beautiful flowers that Sin, corruption, and my own treacherous nature have turned into bubbling swamps. The craziest thing about it is that it does not matter. It has no relevance anymore. I may see my sin sometimes, sometimes I see it more than I see what is truly inside of me, Jesus. That is all that matters, the Jesus that is inside of me, transforming the swamps back into gardens. I have been forgiven, even though so often I forget it, and my sins are erased, gone, eliminated, nailed to a cross, crucified, forgotten. All that remains is righteousness. It seems so obvious, so fundamental to everything that I live and believe in, and yet I forget it. It's like Santa Claus forgetting how to drive his sleigh, I utterly forget that my sins have been obliterated by a perfect man being pierced for me. That is the biggest lesson that I have learned: FORGIVENESS. I need to understand it more, I need to feel it more, I need to realize the completeness of the forgiveness and the grace that has been freely given me, wrapped in the blood of an completely innocent man.
Thankfully that is just the beginning, of this journey that I have embarked on. The first, necessarily fundamental first step of my journey, completely understanding that I am totally and unconditionally forgiven of everything. No matter what I have done, all the mistakes made and yet to be made, I am free from the chains that bind me to that. I am constantly bogged down by that sense that I screwed up, constantly confusing conviction with guilt, confusing the righteousness that is inside me, trading it for lentils. Friggin lentils.
Good Luck and Good Eats
~Cody