Feeling Broke(n) and Fragmented

Santa Monica is now in my past, no longer my present. There are quite a few thoughts that come out of that. One is strangely a feeling of fragmentation. I feel like I made such lasting relationships and poured into people so much this summer, that a part of me is now in Arizona, a part in Chico, a part in San Diego, and yet all of me is at the same time sitting here, typing these strange letters. It is undoubtedly a feeling of fragmentation. And yet through it all, my heart is in Santa Barbara and will be. I feel like it is where I belong, at least for the time being. So, I am left with this strange feeling of wanting to be so many places, with so many people, and not knowing where I truly truly deep down want to be at all. I know who I want to be with, as there are maybe ten-twenty people that I wish were with me, in this room right now. There is a part of me with each of those people, definitely, and it has kind of made me forget fully who I am. I would not trade this feeling for anything in the world, but it is a position that requires me to do a great amount of processing, trying to determine who I really am, but through it all one real constant remains: I am a child of God. I'm learning more and more how nothing else really has any significance but it is all just an extension of that.
Another thought that I have been left with is this: is poverty a result of sin? This is a summer that, through a variety of circumstances the breadth of which I do not have the time to fully divulge, I have felt more broke then ever in my life. I started to think about sin and the fall and if poverty is a result of that. A lot is blamed on 'human nature' (whatever that is) these days, more than I think necessary, but I have found myself wondering lately if poverty would still exist if not for sin, or if all destitution is simply a result of human greed and wont of money. Because if it is a result of sin, then people who are poor can logically say that they are broken. Ultimately, what does it matter? The reality of the situation is that my sins have been paid for, period. End of story. I am still broke, financially and I do not see that changing anytime soon, but it does not matter. That is not what is important in life. People are important, God is important, most important as a matter of fact. Money is irrelevant except insofar as I can enhance the eternal things of life. I feel broke, but not broken.
Treats of the week is back! This week made some dessert quesedillas with the amazing Mr. Weber and made some oreo cheesecake cookies as well. It's good to be back in the kitchen, for sure.
Good Luck and Good Eats
~Cody